And When I Ask For A Customer I Don’t Expect A Bitch.
I was going to write a great post about how for the last week I’ve been giving people who ask for Coke, Diet Coke, and vice versa, but I’ll save that for later. Here’s a post about the type of lady who probably voted to get Hilary the wins in the Texas and Ohio primaries yesterday. Can’t you ladies do ANYTHING right?
Me: “Can I get you something to drink, ma’am?”
Woman 1: “Yes, I’d like an ice water.”
Me: “Alright. I’ll be right out with that.”
(A few seconds later)
Woman 1: “What is this!?”
Me: “Umm…an ice water?”
Woman 2: “Why does it have a lemon in it!?”
Me: “Uh…”
Woman 1: “When I ask for an ICE WATER I don’t expect a LEMON.”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I guess it’s just because I’m so used to getting people lemons with their…”
Woman 1: “No excuses.”
Is this frickin’ high school football practice? “No excuses”? What’s next, calling me by last name from across the restaurant? How are you going to get all bent out of shape over a lemon wedge on the edge of your glass of water when that’s how 98% of the rest of the world drinks their water. That’s like asking for a house salad and then throwing a temper tantrum when they put tomatoes in it.
Sorry, ma’am. Next time you come in, I’ll ask if you want silverware with your meal, chicken with your “Chicken Dinner” and a straw with your drink. Screw you and your little fake breasts too.
P.S. Yea, that’s right. We all know your breasts are fake. Don’t flaunt them like they’re your own personal gift from God. Unless, of course, by “God”, you mean a “depressed, middle-aged, sexually frustrated husband who’s married to a frigid woman that snaps at waiters for putting lemons in their waters and whose only source of sexual excitement stems from the half-assed attempts of a plastic surgeon that, by the looks of things, flunked out of medical school twice.”
P.P.S. Go Obama!
March 6th, 2008 at 6:36
hahahahahaha great stuff. I’ve never understood why people treat their waiters like that….I always look at it as an opportunity to interact and I sure as hell wouldn’t piss someone off who’s about to deliver food to me
March 6th, 2008 at 9:14
Maybe it was the first time in her life they let her out of “the home” to go out to eat. She didn’t know that EVERYONE puts a lemon in water.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:49
Go go gadget republish old post!
March 7th, 2008 at 10:35
Where I work we are NOT to routinely put lemons on water but so many people want them. I always ask because I got sick of stupid comments like the one above.
March 7th, 2008 at 7:23
She may have been reacting to the viral video about bacteria-laden lemon wedges. Here’s the link to the Snopes report. http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/lemon.asp
March 8th, 2008 at 4:54
You like Obama? Cool beans. Just stopping by for the first time in a million years.
Oh, the stories I could tell you, working at the front desk of a hotel.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how fucking stupid or confused a person is. If they don’t act like a complete horse’s ass, they’re not going to end up here or otherwise hated. It’s 100% how you treat other people.
Have a good one, Ryan. ^_^
March 8th, 2008 at 5:35
The woman is an asshole. I think if I was trying to explain something only to be interrupted by “no excuses” I’d have to say something back. Kudos to you for holding your cool.
By the way, I have dined out across Canada and Europe and, to be honest, I don’t recall ever once seeing water served with a lemon wedge. Might be a US thing?
March 9th, 2008 at 3:05
I shit you not, this just happened to me today, some crazy uptight bitch chewed my head off for putting a lemon wedge on the edge of her water. I didn’t used to put lemon wedges on the edges of my customer’s drinks until I moved up to San Antonio, where 99% of the women here yearn deep within their loins for them and so help you god if you forget the lemon wedges. SO HELP YOU GOD.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:34
Water’s water. It’s on the edge, take it off if you don’t want it. Sheesh, people.
But I’m glad I drink mostly water now, if there’s a lot of servers amusing themselves by giving people who order diet drinks regular drinks. Regular soft drinks in the USA contain high fructose corn syrup, which gives me an instant migraine.
March 9th, 2008 at 7:41
Hmmmm so this diet/non-diet waiter beverage exchange…is that some sort of revenge or just your way of playing silly buggers with an order? I don’t think you have the right to do that to people, your customers aren’t there for your entertainment, it’s how you earn your living. I know if I caught someone out doing that (and I can certainly tell diet from non-diet), you’d lose every cent of any tip I was going to pay - and I’m a VERY generous tipper.
March 9th, 2008 at 10:24
Oh you’re sooo funny. If I found out you did that, not only would you not get a tip, but I’d talk to your manager and hopefully get you fired. As a diabetic, that would be VERY dangerous for me to down a couple glasses of regular coke. How’d you like that lawsuit smart-boy?
March 9th, 2008 at 10:58
Wow…I should probably check this thing over the weekend.
I never actually did the Coke, Diet Coke, vice versa thing…it was more just something to fill up the space at the top of the entry that I wrote off the top of my head.
But now that I know people could die from it…hmm…
March 21st, 2008 at 4:21
Kristi, relax. You think you’re going to sue because a waiter gave you regular coke? Good luck proving that it was, in fact, malicious. Unless he admits he did it on purpose, it looks like a simple accident that wont get anyone fired or sued. If you’re so concerned with your health, it’s your responsibility. Are you really relying on people who get paid minimum wage to never accidentally mix your beverage with a regular coke on the same tray? They look exactly alike. If you can’t taste the difference, maybe you should try water.
For the record, most of the united states does not drink their water with lemon. It’s typically a southern thing. Even here in Los Angeles, it’s usually African Americans and people from the south that specify “water with lemon” but they have the courtesy to be specific upfront.