It’s Bartender Week, Bitches.
I put this post up and hastily titled it “A Bonus For All The Bartenders Who Read My Blog.”
I’ve gotten a few dozen emails since I put that thing up from bartenders all over the country. Maybe I’ve been linked in a couple of bartender blogs or something. Whatever it is, keep them coming. I love ‘em. In fact, I think I’m going to make this Bartender Week. Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do. It’ll be like Hanukkah only the presents each day will be sweet and there’s better food.
Every day, I’ll go to my inbox, and post the story that makes me laugh the hardest in my 10:00 a.m. U.S. History class. On with Bartender Week! Woot:
“If I get one more prick asking me a million questions before they order their Bud Light, draft, I’m going to stab someone in the heart with my corkscrew.
How’s this for a frickin’ question: ‘Do you have any specials?’
This isn’t Starburcks! You don’t look cool asking me questions about beers from countries I’ve never even heard of. Go listen to your girl-fronted indie-pop band on your iPod and leave me to the patrons who will actually tip worth a damn.
And…if you find your first choice was too expensive for your taste, you have plenty of time to adjust your next drink choice accordingly. Here’s some helpful hints, dickwads: Beer costs less than hard liquor. Domestics cost less than imports. If you’re ordering like you’re an extra in a fucking Lil’ Boosie rap video, you will run out of money and you will run out of it fast.
Last, but certainly not least, if you don’t have at least a buck to throw my way after I make your drink, you don’t have enough for the drink. Thanks, chief.”
- Sam Hatch, Sydney, Australia
So give it up to Sam, people. And, bartenders: keep the stories coming.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:03
I tip well when we go out to eat (I’m in mostly rural midwest). 20% minimum if they’re decent and take care of me. More if I ask for anything special or if they’re especially friendly and helpful. I appreciate a good sense of humor in a server.
However, I do not tip $1 per drink. I think that’s excessive. Why should I give $1 for what is normally at most a $5 drink? That’s 20% (or more) for taking 30 seconds to mix/open a drink as opposed to a server who spends a half hour to 2 hours coming back to my table several times and works a helluva lot harder for that extra money.
No offense to bartenders, and I do tip them, but I am not going to tip that much.
March 4th, 2008 at 8:52
It’s a dollar… Just give us the dollar…
geez….
March 4th, 2008 at 10:23
Hey, I work hard for that dollar, too!
March 5th, 2008 at 1:50
As a bartender I really hate it when people dont tip- but even I dont expect EVERYONE to tip EVERY TIME. I do expect EVERYONE to tip EACH BARTENDER they visit at least ONCE during the night.
The other night I had a girl throw some change into my jar as I got her a drink, she didnt realize my jar was empty at the time so I could see the 17 cents she put in. this chick never tips- someone should teach these people that when they do tip- TIP WELL. dont tip less because of drink specials either. 25 cent Hi-balls? buy 4 and give them $5. Bartenders dont take pennies-unless the bar manager (if he’s an idiot)has set the prices to anything other than a quarter- and you say keep the change.
but I guess I’m preachnig to the choir on this one.
Oh, and that chick who tipped me 17 cents, got it back- at the bottom for her next drink.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:46
I ALWAYS tip the SHIT out of my bartenders-I make sure I know their names, they know mine, and they treat me well. It also helps if the bar is super busy and they see me walk up, I never have to wait, but if I do, I don’t care-I understand they’re busy! I’ve been serving way too long to be an impatient bitch b/c Tom’s too busy to toss me another Stella. But yeah, point of this is Why the hell not tip your bartender well? If I’m out to drink, taking care of the person who’s taking care of my drinks is a must.
March 5th, 2008 at 12:14
I agree with Emily - it’s the same principle as how you should treat servers. Want good service at a restaurant? Guarantee it by respecting your server and tipping them well. Want well made (even occasionally, free) drinks? Take care of your bartender and don’t be an asshole.
Why would ANYONE think it’s a good idea to treat the person who brings you food or drinks like shit? Common sense, people.
March 5th, 2008 at 1:16
Yeah, totally! I mean, 2 nights ago my bartender bought a round for my whole crew- They’re people too, and most the time if you get to know them and treat them right, they’re freaking awesome.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:30
If you can afford a freakin’ dollar tip buy some cheap beer and keep your broke-ass self home.
March 11th, 2008 at 3:54
I’m a bartender, and if you think that I don’t deserve to be tipped a dollar on a 5 dollar drink, let me explain what all I do. Not only am I making (and remembering) your drinks all night, I’m also waiting on dozens of other people. I’m also making drinks for every single customer in the building over at my service bar. On top of that, I’m stocking beer, changing kegs, washing glasses, making change for the servers, and keeping an eye out for underage drinkers. All that for the $3.50 I make an hour. So if you still don’t think that I’m worth a dollar, go drink somewhere else, and stay the hell out of my bar! My customers appreciate and understand all the hard work I do!
March 21st, 2008 at 4:29
I work at a fancy restaurant, as a server. Working my way til lawschool starts is providing some interesting fodder, that’s for sure. My favorite is when people ask what beers we have. We have only a few and I’ll list them verbally since they aren’t on the menu “We have Hennepin, Pilsner Urquell, Stone IPA, Stella Artois, and Kirin Ichiban.” Then they ask me, “Do you have Bud Light?”
Yes, A-hole… I just wanted to recite the hard ones first, because you look so fancy that I decided to skip over the Bud, Coors, and Pabst to get to the good stuff.
March 28th, 2008 at 1:44
Kristi:
I have to call you on being a bartender tightwad! The bartender has to deal with the ENTIRE bar at once. Their guests are DRUNKEN asswipes or just asswipes trying to get drunk. They get stuck listening to all your problems. They get off work HOURS after you pass out. They clean up way nastier shit than waiters do.
Finally 2 more things a bartender has hard ass setup and restocking to do that involves a great deal of lifting and stooping and it takes an hour or two to get done. They provide the stress relief the waiter needs after dealing with their bad tipping customers.