Dear Mr. Red-Headed Bucktooth Man,

Thank you so much for banging on our front door as loudly as you could twenty minutes before we even started serving. I know it’s my fault that I didn’t explain this before, but those little numbers next to the days of the week outside…well, those are to indicate to potential customers what times we open and what times we close. I’m sure most people aren’t familiar with this concept, so let me explain: The “4:30pm” just to the right of the word “Monday” means we open at 4:30pm. I apologize profusely as I see it upset you enough to almost knock my teeth out when I started to open the door to let you in out of the cold at 4:10pm.

Thank you so much for asking to sit at the farthest possible table from the sushi bar, kitchen and servers hallway. I’m glad you sat next to the bar as it allowed you to sample any beverage of your liking. Unfortunately we didn’t have what you wanted. While I know that most restaurants carry Pabst Blue Ribbon in a can, we, unfortunately, do not. I’m sorry this made you so sad you were forced to act younger than the child sitting directly to your right.

And while we’re on the subject of your children, thank you so much for not teaching him how not to throw his food, silverware, cup and…oh, yes…our candle holders on the ground. I was, in reality, incredibly bored without much else to do.

Thank you so much for your snaggletooth of a wife complaining to the manager that we did not serve bread. I know it’s complimentary in most Asian restaurants to offer bread, but we just didn’t get our shipment in from Osaka this week.

Thank you so much for asking me to split the check between you and your wife and then complaining when one check was a penny more. I know it’s my fault that odd numbers don’t divide evenly. I’ll get right on lobbying Congress to have the Federal Reserve start issuing half-cent coins. That way, you can save that penny for a very rainy day.

And most of all, thank you for your 4% tip. You know, the restaurant standard is 2%, but you…you just went so far beyond what is merely average and did something above average. I get a tear in my eye just thinking about it. I wish I could see you on the street and buy you a Coke or something.

Kisses,
Ryan

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 19th, 2008 at 6:38 and is filed under Kids, Couples. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.