A few weeks ago, a couple came in that wouldn’t stop arguing. But it was past that normal “we’re arguing now, but we’ll be better in the morning”. These guys were clearly on the rocks.

Thankfully, they wanted to sit far from any of my other table, thereby distracting them from their table. Maybe they thought this is what they needed: a quiet night out to get back to the roots of their relationship. Perhaps this dimly-lit corner would rekindle something.

They argued their way through drink orders as the food was being cooked. As I dropped off the dinners they both ordered, there was something in the girl’s eyes that wasn’t in the man’s. It looked as though she wanted to be here in this restaurant and he very much did not. She held onto her faith and hope in what they had and he looked as if he had let go of that history long ago.

Pity, really. She seemed like a nice girl. Cute too.

When I went back to clear their plates, I noticed that the guy wasn’t there anymore. The girl was just staring out the window. I waited a few more minutes to drop off the check, but he still wasn’t there.

I looked at the reservation log and noticed that a couple of big tables were set to arrive in a few minutes. I knew this would be the only time for the next couple of hours I’d have a break, so I went to use the bathroom.

As I opened the door, I was greeted by a sound I’d never heard in our restaurant’s bathroom. (And trust me, that’s saying something). Here was the man I was serving just minutes before, sitting in a stall, weeping ever-so-softly like a small child.

Me: “Hey man. Is everything okay?”
Him: (Startled) “Uh! Yea, yea yea.”
Me: “Are you sure? Do you need anything?”
Him: “No. I’m good. Thanks.”

He walked out of the restroom minutes later and if I hadn’t heard him crying just a short while ago, I wouldn’t have ever guessed it. He came confidently over to me, asked for the check, left a 25% tip and walked out with his girlfriend (most likely ex-girlfriend by now…this was weeks ago).

Here I was thinking of this table so trivially minutes ago. Now they are two people. One is a girl that made an impression so heavily on the other, a guy, that he was forced to cry in a public restroom.

I guess that’s the biggest difference between men and women. Women will let their emotions just shine through with someone as random as a waiter. A man will wait until he is alone. It’s there, away from peering eyes and judgmental stares, that he can strip himself to his most vulnerable.

I suppose they do it that way on Mars too.

It really is a shame too. Far too many men and women cannot connect emotionally, thereby eroding what could be a really decent relationship.

Men are far too distant and out-of-touch with how they feel. Men don’t communicate to women just how often they care for them. It’s only in places like restaurant bathrooms that their emotions can come to the surface and by then they’ve been suppressed so far that the woman thinks they don’t even care anymore. A lot of times this isn’t even the case.

On the flip side, a woman may be far too over-zealous in her expectation of how a man should be affirming their love. A man’s not going to be nearly as lovey-dovey and emotional as a woman is and the bar many women set is, many times, unrealistic.

It’s both of our faults. Men need to step up to the plate more frequently and with more confidence and women need to stop throwing the heat. Give us a change-up every once in a while and let us hit it out of the park.

To Greer. Happy Valentine’s Day. Thanks for throwing me change-ups every once in a while. I’ve never been happier.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 14th, 2008 at 2:31 and is filed under Couples. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.