Sodom And Gomorrah Must Not Have Had Mr. Pibb Or Root Beer.
Mom: “Do you all have any Mr. Pibb?”
Me: “No, ma’am…I’m sorry…all we ha…”
Mom: (interrupting) “What about root beer?”
Me: “No, but we ha…”
Mom: (interrupting) “Well, what do you have that’s close?”
Me: “Close?”
Mom: (yelling) “Yea! What tastes the closest to root beer in this godforsaken restaurant?!”
Me: “Sweet tea.”
I didn’t know that not carrying Mr. Pibb translated to God’s abandonment of us. It is the End Times, indeed.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:36
hahaha, don’t people realize that we will TELL them what we have if they would just LISTEN? i hate when people talk over my response to their question with MORE questions!
October 19th, 2007 at 2:24
God has not totally abandoned you - At least you have sweet tea. Then again, you’re in the sensibly-Southern part of the country… too many places in the Midwest haven’t even heard of the stuff.
October 20th, 2007 at 10:41
@Orange
The Midwest just doesn’t make a distinction between sweet tea and unsweet tea. It’s all just iced tea.
October 21st, 2007 at 9:23
They still make Mr Pibb?
October 22nd, 2007 at 3:07
Well, you coul’ve offered her a Coke mixed with Amaretto! =)
October 22nd, 2007 at 8:20
Actually, Mr. Pibb retired, and his son Pibb Xtra took his place in the Coke lineup.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:15
all of this over soda - people really have great priorities
www.willworkfortips.wordpress.com
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:12
“Do you have diet lemonade?”
“No, sir, sorry”.
“What about Diet Sprite?”
“No, sir, just regular.”
*sighhh* “Well, what DO you have that’s both sugar-free AND caffeine-free??”
“Umm… water.”
“Well, I GUESS the lemonade will just have to do.”
and this past weekend:
Mom: “I’d like the buttermilk pancakes and one poached egg.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, our kitchen doesn’t have boiling water available. We can fry them over any way or scramble them.”
Mom: “That’s fine, I’ll have it scrambled.”
Dad: “I want a chocolate milkshake made with chocolate icecream.”
Me: “Sorry, but we make all the shakes with vanilla icecream and add flavoring.” (we have no chocolate icecream on premises)
Dad: “I’ll just have a diet Coke then.”
I bring the drinks out…
Everyone: “Thanks, thanks, etc.”
Dad: “Yeah, thanks. Thanks for accomodating us.”
October 26th, 2007 at 3:02
Drunken Bar Patron: Is there any chocolate in this cake?
Me: Yes, of course, it’s a chocolate cake!
Drunk: Shit! I am allergic to chocolate. Are you sure there is chocolate in it? Like cocoa?
Me: Yes, of course there is. It is chocolate cake with chocolate frosting covered in chocolate sauce.
Drunk: Fuck! I need to vomit. Where’s the bathroom?
Me: Outside, in the parking lot behind the Chinese restaurant. They won’t know the difference.
Drunk: Oh, cool, thanks.
Drunk takes my advice.
www.willworkfortips.wordpress.com
October 29th, 2007 at 11:20
you are missed!!
October 31st, 2007 at 7:34
whats going on here! more stories!
October 31st, 2007 at 9:13
So glad I found your blog! Good reads!
October 31st, 2007 at 12:52
need more stories.
October 31st, 2007 at 6:18
Oh, how I wish I could say no to those people. Instead, I have to see the smug truimphant looks on their faces when I tell them that I can, in fact, serve them Mr. Pibb (actually Pibb Xtra, but I don’t know that anybody actually calls it that) or root beer or diet lemonade. I guess God has looked kindly upon my humble employer.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:10
You do this world a great service by blogging about life in retail. And yes, serving morons does indeed suck. This said, hell of a rollercoaster!
November 4th, 2007 at 5:20
happy birthday mate
November 8th, 2007 at 1:46
happy belated bday
please post soon- i miss reading your stories.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:13
Mom: “Do you serve Dr. Pepper”
Me: “No”
Mom: “How about Mr. Pibb”
Me: “No” (thinking in my head that if you asked for Dr. Pepper in the first place and we did have Mr. Pibb, I would have just given you the damn Mr. Pibb.)
November 12th, 2007 at 3:57
come on dude… im going thru “i server idiots” withdrawal here!
November 13th, 2007 at 6:55
Me too!!! Come back!
November 13th, 2007 at 8:20
Where is he?
November 14th, 2007 at 7:53
First time here. Love it! Especially enjoy the interaction & dialogue between server and guest. Too funny.
Peace,
- Dennis
www.donttipthewaiter.blogspot.com
February 13th, 2008 at 2:53
I don’t mind if I ask for a DP or a Coke or whatever and you bring me a similar soda.. its cool. It is soda and even though I can taste the diff, it is what I wanted.
The only problem I have is this: When I ask for a Dr. Pepper and a server offers Root Beer… WTF is that? How are those two EVEN CLOSE? You could say, we have Coke or Pepsi, or FUCK RC COLA would do.. BUT ROOTBEER? Please tell me how that correlation is made?