Comments on: How To Serve: Part III - Making The Customer More Comfortable http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/ Thu, 22 May 2008 19:56:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1 By: » Blog Archive » How To Serve: Part I - A Guide To Dressing Yourself http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4286 » Blog Archive » How To Serve: Part I - A Guide To Dressing Yourself Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:50:58 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4286 [...] designed to inform servers on how they’re fucking up. You can read Part II here, Part III here or Part IV [...] […] designed to inform servers on how they’re fucking up. You can read Part II here, Part III here or Part IV […]

]]> By: » Blog Archive » How To Serve: Part II - Personal Hygiene And Other Things Your Mother Should Have Taught You http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4287 » Blog Archive » How To Serve: Part II - Personal Hygiene And Other Things Your Mother Should Have Taught You Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:52:24 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4287 [...] designed to inform servers on how they’re fucking up. You can read Part I here, Part III here or Part IV [...] […] designed to inform servers on how they’re fucking up. You can read Part I here, Part III here or Part IV […]

]]> By: Chimera http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4288 Chimera Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:50:39 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4288 In all my years as a server, it never failed to amaze me that a perfect stranger wanted my opinion about anything other than what was "good" today. It finally dawned on me that it wasn't <i>my</i> opinion that was wanted -- it was my reinforcement of <i>his</i> opinion he was looking for! And he's hoping you'll oblige him in front of friends/family/client/whoever. Bigger tip for you if you help make him look more important. If you can't bring yourself to actually <i>lie</i>, at least learn the art of <i>dissembling</i>. Especially when it comes to the heavy-duty, hot-button topics like politics, religion, etc. You can use phrases like: "I haven't quite made up my mind, yet." This implies (to him) that he can probably win you over to his side of things if he wanted to. But he won't, because there's no time. And he doesn't know you, anyway, so why bother? But it leaves him with the impression that you'd be on side with him if only you knew the truth (his version of it). "You're probably better informed about it than I am." This gives him the impression that you're acknowledging his superiority in worldly matters. It does not matter that you actually think he's a putz. To him, you've just fed his ego. He should now feed your wallet. There are lots of handy phrases that can be used that sound so ego-inflating, but actually say mothing. Politicians use them all the time, and look at the money <i>they</i> make! In all my years as a server, it never failed to amaze me that a perfect stranger wanted my opinion about anything other than what was “good” today. It finally dawned on me that it wasn’t my opinion that was wanted — it was my reinforcement of his opinion he was looking for! And he’s hoping you’ll oblige him in front of friends/family/client/whoever. Bigger tip for you if you help make him look more important.

If you can’t bring yourself to actually lie, at least learn the art of dissembling. Especially when it comes to the heavy-duty, hot-button topics like politics, religion, etc.

You can use phrases like: “I haven’t quite made up my mind, yet.” This implies (to him) that he can probably win you over to his side of things if he wanted to. But he won’t, because there’s no time. And he doesn’t know you, anyway, so why bother? But it leaves him with the impression that you’d be on side with him if only you knew the truth (his version of it).

“You’re probably better informed about it than I am.” This gives him the impression that you’re acknowledging his superiority in worldly matters. It does not matter that you actually think he’s a putz. To him, you’ve just fed his ego. He should now feed your wallet.

There are lots of handy phrases that can be used that sound so ego-inflating, but actually say mothing. Politicians use them all the time, and look at the money they make!

]]> By: Shikoku88Henro http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4301 Shikoku88Henro Tue, 16 Oct 2007 14:58:19 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4301 Part III in rehash. Do you even write anything anymore? Shame since it was an awesome blog. Part III in rehash.

Do you even write anything anymore? Shame since it was an awesome blog.

]]> By: upset waitress http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4373 upset waitress Thu, 18 Oct 2007 21:29:35 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-4373 "Customer Service Tip #1: Smile, bitches." Don't forget that this can backfire. I've had servers with smiles that can derail a train. And the servers that have moss growing on their teeth need to learn sign language. “Customer Service Tip #1: Smile, bitches.” Don’t forget that this can backfire. I’ve had servers with smiles that can derail a train. And the servers that have moss growing on their teeth need to learn sign language.

]]> By: country club server/mgr http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-6852 country club server/mgr Thu, 10 Jan 2008 18:43:39 +0000 http://www.iserveidiots.com/2007/10/15/how-to-serve-part-iii-making-the-customer-more-comfortable/#comment-6852 Funny! You want to talk servers that don't care about what they look like or smell like or what they say to customers (members)? These prize specimens (most) have worked at this place for as long as the oldest members have been members (we are an old money club). We range from 60 +yr olds that can no longer walk to a table,( they wobble from side to side to get there) to 18 & 20 somethings that have never served a day in their lives! What's a tucked in shirt? and pants that are so skin tight they have to be sprayed on. How do you motivate people to do a great job at serving when there is no gratuity? Im in the wrong business! I had a woman who we just hired come in the other day with leather pants on to serve a banquet! and the week before that she wore black dress pants with silver shiny swirls. AHHHH! Speaking of snot! We have a guy who now works in the attic re-racking glassware and polishing silverware because he's so scary! The guy is skin and bones, 50+, and ALWAYS SNOTTY!!!! He spits when he talks and yes he used to wait on people! when he comes near me and I have food in my hand I have to turn away so that he doesnt spit on it! I mean he's a nice guy but, you know! He even uses the club linen napkins to wipe his nose...AHHHH. Ok now im grossed out. Later Funny! You want to talk servers that don’t care about what they look like or smell like or what they say to customers (members)? These prize specimens (most) have worked at this place for as long as the oldest members have been members (we are an old money club). We range from 60 +yr olds that can no longer walk to a table,( they wobble from side to side to get there) to 18 & 20 somethings that have never served a day in their lives! What’s a tucked in shirt? and pants that are so skin tight they have to be sprayed on. How do you motivate people to do a great job at serving when there is no gratuity? Im in the wrong business! I had a woman who we just hired come in the other day with leather pants on to serve a banquet! and the week before that she wore black dress pants with silver shiny swirls. AHHHH! Speaking of snot! We have a guy who now works in the attic re-racking glassware and polishing silverware because he’s so scary! The guy is skin and bones, 50+, and ALWAYS SNOTTY!!!! He spits when he talks and yes he used to wait on people! when he comes near me and I have food in my hand I have to turn away so that he doesnt spit on it! I mean he’s a nice guy but, you know! He even uses the club linen napkins to wipe his nose…AHHHH. Ok now im grossed out. Later

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