Better Luck Next Year.
If a customer says it’s their birthday, then the servers are obliged to sing an off-key version of “Happy Birthday” just as the customers are obliged to sing as low as possible while still forming the words with their mouths. Usually, the customer informs one of us at the restaurant that it’s someone in their party’s birthday since we don’t automatically know people’s birthdays unless their name is Jesus or Martin Luther King. This one lady didn’t seem to think so.
Backstory: After a family’s dinner a few weeks ago, the mother took me aside and said, “You know, I’m very…I’m just very disappointed in this establishment.”
Me: “Why? What happened?”
Her: “Well, don’t you all do anything for birthdays?”
Me: “Yes. Whose birthday was it?”
Her: (Loud sigh) “My husband’s. I called on Wednesday.” (note: it was Saturday)
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. No one told me. Did you tell the hostess when you came in tonight?”
Her: “No, I thought ONE time would be enough.”
Me: “What? You DID tell someone?”
Her: “Yes. I called up last week and told the hostess on duty that it was my husband’s birthday and to be SURE to sing ‘Happy Birthday’.”
Me: “Oh. Well, next time, if you just tell whoever’s serving you I’m sure they’d be happy to sing ‘Happy Birthday’”.
Her: “Oh. There won’t BE a next time.”
Me: (frown and nod)
At the end of this exchange, the woman looked damn near tears. Was she kidding? I didn’t sing “Happy Birthday”. Big freaking deal. It was all some big misunderstanding. It’s not as if I came up to her table and refused to sing the song. The husband was probably glad that he wasn’t embarrassed by a group of Asian waiters banging on a gong and singing a broken-English version of “Happy Birthday
I walked to the bar to get some drinks and when I came back out the woman was arguing with our manager/hostess, April, about the whole thing. I walked up and caught the end of the argument
Her: “…I bring in a lot of friends and a lot of business and you can FORGET it all now.”
April: “Well, ma’am. There’s not much I can do now but say sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry that your husband did not have ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to him on his birthday
April, you are a sarcastic badass.
As the woman walked out, she rubbed her face as if she was tearing up. In a restaurant parking lot. Over not hearing “Happy Birthday” sung to her husband. Wow.
End of backstory
I completely forgot about the lady until a few days ago when she came back in and identified me as “you who would not sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to my husband”. Huh?
Her: “I just want you to know that you ruined my husband’s last night with us. He went off to basic training the next day.”
While I hardly believe that’s even remotely true, that’s what you get for having your birthday at an over-priced Asian restaurant.
October 2nd, 2007 at 7:21
God.
Some people should learn to get over themselves. I strongly suspect that unlike his wife, the husband is probably quite glad that nobody sang to him. Jesus Christ, at the point of adulthood, MOST of us are glad that nobody fucking sings to, well, at us in a restaurant anymore.
Obviously, this woman needs to get a fucking grip, and SHUT UP. And ruined her husband’s last night with them? No, SHE probably did that, because instead of paying attention to her husband, who was LEAVING FOR BASIC TRAINING, she griped, bitched, and whined that you refused to sing Happy Fucking Birthday to him.
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:34
god, what a fucking whore. that’s all i can say.
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:18
I wonder if she was just upset that he was leaving the next day and decided to take it out on you? Not that I think it’s an excuse she didn’t need to be a bitch about it
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:26
Ditto to what Kate said.
I bet her husband was glad to leave for basic training. I couldn’t imagine being married to someone like that, who would go apeshit over a fucking song!
I don’t want total strangers singing happy birthday to me, either. Why didn’t she and the other guests in their party start singing the song, if it meant that much to her?
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:50
I thank God every shift that I no longer work at a place that does the b-day song thing. And I was all set to dis the wife in this story until Lisa had to ruin it with the displaced anger comment. Damn you empathy, you are a mercurial mistress!
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:44
Sorry Tony!!! LOL It pisses my husband off too that I tend to be empathetic
October 4th, 2007 at 9:25
It especialy since you were so on the money…caring and accurate, a dymnamic duo…