Unless by “conspiracy” you mean “I, the customer, am dumb as shit.”

So this lady and her husband/boyfriend/random drunk hookup are at one of my tables and the lady is bitching about how the steak is “too chewy” when

1) she has eaten over half the steak,
2) she’s eating some as she says this and
3) she ordered it “medium rare”. It’s gonna be chewy, ma’am. Next time order your meat a little more cooked and it’ll be cool.

But then the bill comes and the dude takes one look at it and starts fuming:

Him: “Yea, waiter, the price on the bill for my dinner and the price on the menu are two dollars off.”
Me: “Oh, well…let me get a menu and we can clear this right up and I can get you your two dollars back.”

Let me just stop right there. For everyone that reads this website, this should be a punch in the mouth to anyone that says “Well, the only reason he deals with idiots is because he’s a crappy waiter.” Did you just read what I said to the guy? It’s 8:00pm on a Friday evening and I’m going to all this trouble for two dollars. Hell yea. Go me. Anyways:

Him: “No no no…don’t do…well…okay. Bring the menu.”
Me: (I bring the menu) “See, sir…you must have thought this said $16.95, but your Filet Mignon dinner is $18.95 just as it is on your bill.”
Him: “Go get another menu. I think mine was different.”
Me: “Ummm…sir…they’re all the same.”
Him: “Oh, I see what’s going on here. Whatever. Someone else will catch it and be more of an asshole than I was.”

No, sir. No one is else is going to “catch it” because there’s nothing to catch. Unless, of course, you’re talking about the obvious herpes on your lady-friend’s lip. Then yea, someone else is going to “catch it”.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 at 11:47 and is filed under Guys, Couples, Stuck Up Yuppies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.