What In The Hell Do You Mean By Special Dessert?
It truly pisses me off when a man acts like an incredible asshole in hopes of impressing his girlfriend, wife and/or mistress. It especially upsets me when that man is a bro, but tonight was not the night for bros. No, no, no…tonight was the night for middle-aged, balding men out with women that could not possibly have secured dates with had it not been for a bottomless checking account and the promises of much jewelry and fine wine.
As the 40-something man was getting drunker and drunker on our completely-over-priced wine and sake, the woman was still nursing her glass of house Merlot. From the look in the guy’s eye and the way he flicked his tounge as if no one was around him, I would’ve been halfway through my second bottle if I was this guy’s date so as to not remember what was to come later that night.
The two were finishing up their meal and the woman was all thank you’s and please’s. That made one of them. The man was nowhere near as cordial.
“Hey, want to pick up these plates now or am I going to have to wait until after I pay?”
“What does it take to get some more wine around here?”
“Boy! Can I have my damned check?”
A quick question before I proceed: Why is it you women hang around men like this? You know it only encourages them to act on their I’m-angry-because-I-have-a-small-penis impulses when you don’t speak up and say something about it, right? My guess is because saying something would result in a black eye or two. Or less jewelry that week. But, hey, what do I know about women?
So the man was an ass because he thought it’d make him look like more of a man when I came by to ask them if they wanted anything else.
Him: “Do y’all have any special desserts?”
Me: “Special desserts?”
Him: “Yes. Special desserts.” (He made air quotes around “special desserts” to make sure I knew he was a douchebag.)
Me: “Well, we have fried ice cream and fried cheesecake which is my fav…”
Him: (interrupting) “No. Special desserts.”
Me: “Sir, what exactly constitutes a special dessert?”
Him: “A. Special. Dessert.”
Me: “…”
Him: “A. Special. Dessert.”
Me: “I heard you the first time, sir. If you’re asking whether or not we put pot into any of our desserts, then no, we do not have special desserts.”
Him: “Just get me my check.”
August 24th, 2007 at 5:10
im curious as to what he left for a tip
August 24th, 2007 at 5:30
On a nearly $70 bill, he left $6. Happy?
August 24th, 2007 at 7:57
What a jerk! I love it when they repeat themselves with the exact same words…It’s like yes I heard you..you’re just an idiot?
August 24th, 2007 at 10:30
ugh. tonight really WAS the night for assholes - i had a family of four (mom, dad, and two kids around maybe 8 and 12 years old) and the dad would NOT stop being a jerk to the 12 year old…he literally called the kid a “shit head” for asking me a question about the menu that i had already answered. what is wrong with people these days?!
August 26th, 2007 at 3:22
Maybe he meant “special dessert” like when you go to a “massage parlor” and get a “happy ending”. That guy sounds like someone who’s frequented such establishments a number of times.
August 28th, 2007 at 7:43
Here we go with the “boy” thing again. What the fuck? Let me tell you something. If I am ever in a restaurant with some man and he acts like that toward MY server, I don’t give a fuck about no jewelry or money. I have my own money and I can buy my own shit. I would make a scene. Not a loud, dramatic, overblown scene but a scene nonetheless. I would probably say, in front of the server, “Why are you acting like such a fucking asshole? That’s not cool.” And if he kept it up, I would leave him there but not before I tipped the server. If you take care of your servers, they’ll take care of you. Period.
The other morning we went to a restaurant for breakfast and sat in the same section as a family of nine, seven of them being children, all under the age of 12. They screamed, they banged, they cried, and they spilled stuff. Their server was running around ragged, trying to keep up with all the refills and whatnot. When they left, I made my boyfriend go see what they had left for a tip, and it was only $5. $5!!! I know their bill was over fifty bucks. We eat there all the time, so I made my server go get the other server and we gave him an additional eight bucks for his trouble. You gotta be kidding me, You take all your little hellions out and and let them tear the place up and you can’t even leave a decent tip? Unacceptable. Sometimes people need a swift kick in the ass. And I wear heels a lot, so let me do it.
June 12th, 2008 at 6:26
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