Jesus Can Walk On Water But He Can’t Pay My Electric Bills, Sir.
It’s always on Sundays, isn’t it? Like clockwork with you Southern Baptists.
Old Man: “You did such a nice job. This is for you.” (Hands me the Tip Booklet)
Me: “Thank you, sir.” (Not opening said Tip Booklet)
Old Man: “No. Open it. It’s for you. Thanks again.”
Me: “Umm…sure…” (I open the Tip Booklet. My face turns red)
Old Man: “…”
Me: “Umm…sir…can I ask if something was wrong? If so, I’ll gladly try and compensa…”
Old Man: “No, no, no…you don’t understand. You did a great job.”
I truly cannot go on with this story. Everyone knows where it’s going.
And that’s damn near sad that everyone knows where it’s going (everyone that’s been a server, that is).
Everyone knows that the old man doesn’t get it.
Every server reading this is probably feeling a twinge of what I felt last Sunday afternoon.
And everyone would have thrown away that Christian tract, that sorry excuse for a tip, just as fast as I did.
August 9th, 2007 at 12:11
Yup, I sure have thrown that damn tract away as soon as I leave the table. I hate that.
August 9th, 2007 at 7:00
Yeah…nice thought, you old jackass, but the cable company doesn’t accept religious tracts as legal tender.
August 9th, 2007 at 8:17
Well, I finally put a stop to the one regular who consistently left a tract. The same tract. Every damned time he came in.
See, I grew up in a fundamental church. I’m definitely not the church type at all anymore, but I do know my shit. So one Sunday, after waiting on him and his wife after church, I saw the dreaded Bloody Jesus tract hit the table with a dollar bill in it, and I began to wrestle with myself.
“Fucking tell him to stop it!”
“No! I’ll get in trouble!”
Well, the first one came out ahead. So I went over to the table, touched his shoulder, and said “Sir, I don’t want to offend you. But I do want you to give those tracts to someone who really does need them. That would not be me.”
“Are you saved???”
“I’ve been saved since I was 15.” (Play the game!) “For you to leave me this tract every time I wait on you is a little bit insulting.”
Well, I got the quiz I knew was coming. Every Biblical query he threw at me, I had the answer he wanted. He kinda wrapped up by saying something about he didn’t think anyone really read the things.
“You’re right. They don’t. And if you want me to be really honest, I’ll tell you something else. I have waited tables for over 20 years, and I’ve seen more people leave tracts than you could imagine. I have never - not one time - seen a server pick one up off a table and find Jesus inside. Never.”
“Well, we are called to witness….”
“But nowhere in the Bible does it say to leave tracts to do your witnessing for you. The best witness you can give is to be a genuine, considerate, peaceful and happy human being. That will make people wonder what you’ve got that they don’t. And when they ask, that’s when you tell your story.”
So it went very well. Until I got to the wait station and shared the story with my co-worker…who noted it was a good thing he didn’t ask to see if the pendant on the cord around my neck (and under my shirt) was a cross. I promptly tucked my pentacle into a bra cup before heading back to the dining room! LOL!
Good news is that he has never left another tract for ANY server in our restaurant. Now that’s what I call saved!
August 9th, 2007 at 3:58
Yeah, the bible says to be a witness, but it also says to love your neighbor as yourself. What better way to love your neighbor than to treat them respectfully when you’re at thier workplace and (in the case of the restaurant business) leave them a good tip. I think a good tip is a much better witness than a tract. It’s not just about words on a piece of paper, it’s about actions too.
*stops sermon*
Sorry, I’m a seminary student. I can’t help myself sometimes.
August 9th, 2007 at 7:16
Kris that’s too much. Everytime I see one of those I just can’t help but sigh..I mean really…it’s about as effective as the ‘preacher’ screaming from the street corner.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:53
Drug, exactly. I was glad for my childhood indoctrination so I could pull it off! LOL!
August 17th, 2007 at 1:26
I’m a Christian and I also do the same thing, my wife and I leave a little card with the waitresses name written on it thanking her pesonally, and a Scripture verse. I also leave her at least 20% along with the card. If she gave us great service, she’ll get more. We realize a tract may help get her to Heaven, but in the interim doesn’t help put food on her table or gas in the tank…
August 18th, 2007 at 1:03
I’ve noticed when it comes to leaving tracts that a very VERY small percentage leave their name and number in the space provided. If I am interested in what the tract has to say and have more questions what am I supposed to do now? Only people with real guts in my eyes go the full way if they really want to help others.