My Last Day At Work.
I’ve been a server for a little over a year now. Sadly, my last day wasn’t much different from the other couple of hundred I’ve worked.
Except for the fact that I started taking a shot every twenty minutes starting on my first table at 4:34pm, mind you (thanks Jessica L. from California). Oh, and thanks Marybeth for driving me to and from work in the event that I blacked out on my last day and needed a ride home.
Because of the alcohol in my system, around 6pm (six shots in) I feigned gay at my fifth table (thank you, FulMinty…I also tried your “jazz hands” and “spirit fingers” suggestions).
It was right around this time that my boss April saw what I was doing with the vodka and used phrases like “oh, hell no” and “put that back in your fucking car”. What are you gonna do, fire me, April?
Before my buzz wore off, (thanks to Katrina Troy) I sad the word “meow” a good forty-nine times at a table before I gave them their check. (Number fifty was “Have a great night meow.”)
After that, things got a little busy and my head started to hurt. A lot. I suppose that’s what happens after a dozen shots over the course of three or so hours. A big thanks goes out to an unnamed co-worker who got me shots to keep me a little buzzed and stave off the headache until I was off work.
From there on out, I stopped taking shots and started just taking in the whole night. This was gonna be my last night at the only job I’ve ever looked forward to going to some nights. For the most part there are some very decent people that work there and I have incredibly fond memories of that place.
These are the people that have Volleyball Mondays on the beach. These are the managers that will understand when you’re not “feeling well” on a Sunday morning. They are also the managers that will understand if you’re truly sick, get over-stressed on finals week or have an unexpected date with a girl you’ve been fawning over for months and just now worked up the courage to ask out and she unexpectedly said yes.
These are also the people that will hold special places in my heart. Each and every one of them. I could write stories for days about each of them and every single one would be a riot.
Maybe I’ll write a book some day. Hopefully it’ll be better than this garbage.
See y’all in a month. I’ve got plenty of stories on the backburner. And with more time to write them, they’ll be better than ever.
If you’re ever in St. Augustine, Florida, drop me an email and I’ll take you for sushi. It’s the place between Hooters and Johnny Carinos on 312.
P.S. While I’m in North Carolina with my band, you’re more than welcome to share your stories and experiences in the restaurant industry on my Myspace or Facebook.
Have a nice rest of the night. Meow.
June 11th, 2007 at 3:40
Ryan, I’ll miss you. This is my first time posting, but I’ve read every entry on this site, and i will miss coming here. I teared up a bit reading this, and i thank you for bringing me much joy in your stories.
June 11th, 2007 at 1:21
I’ve realy enjoyed reading your blog the last few minths since I found it. I worked in a restaurant last year and even tho the owner was psycho and wasn’t very nice, I really miss working there, all the friends I made and sometimes, the actual work. Good luck in whatever you’ve got going on!
June 11th, 2007 at 2:29
Way to live it up on your last day! Good luck to you.
June 11th, 2007 at 7:22
DON’T LEAVE ME
June 11th, 2007 at 11:10
ryan. somehow i stumbled on your website last year- and i have enjoyed checking it everyday (mainly because I too used to work in a restraunt). and i am also moving to jacksonville so maybe i’ll see you around!
June 12th, 2007 at 8:08
I was just in Jacksonville. It’s hot.
I recommend visiting the Okefenokee Swamp - It’s pretty wild, like nothing I’ve ever seen.
Great blog: I too was in the biz at one point, though I was back-of-the-house. But I had occasion to step out front and squash a table or two. Excellent writing, and thank you.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:16
When you work with the public, it’s hard to run out of crazy stories. People are fucked up. Ryan, I know you still have a few more stories up your sleeve and I can’t wait to hear them. Have fun on tour and we can’t wait to have you back!
June 13th, 2007 at 7:22
DON’T LEAVE US. =’(
June 13th, 2007 at 7:53
Wow, all that drinking at work sounds more grueling than enjoyable, but on the last day, what the fuck, I guess.
June 14th, 2007 at 2:37
I’m really going to miss coming into my incredibly boring desk job every day and reading your stories. They give me the ability to look back and laugh at people I encountered during my four years of waitressing rather than look back and remember how hurtful they could be. Excellent writing, as always, and I will re-read the archives over and over! Best of luck!
June 14th, 2007 at 4:08
Where were you carrying the vodka, in your apron? LOL
I waited tables drunk once when I worked at a restaurant. Should have done the fake gay thing now that I think about it… damn. Now I work at a club and we can drink any time!
June 15th, 2007 at 1:42
I’ve enjoyed your stories but this one just reinforces my conviction that waiting is pretty much a throwaway non-job for most in the “profession”.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:50
does this mean you won’t be writing anymore?
June 15th, 2007 at 9:38
When I get back to Florida in July, I will be updating the site just as frequently as before. Maybe even more so.
June 15th, 2007 at 4:18
Hey Ryan,
I just wanted to say thanks for keeping up your site so well - you have a great fan base and I will definately miss the regular updates for a little while. You’re a fantastic writer, and I can’t wait to see what’s next for you! Keep it up, and thanks again,
Dustin
June 17th, 2007 at 11:06
If you come by Chapel Hill with your band, stop in at the Buffalo Wild Wings… my boss there was the one who told me about your blog, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every entry.
June 19th, 2007 at 6:33
You gonna make it to Charlotte, Ryan?
June 20th, 2007 at 7:43
Looking forward to your return, although I wish you the success with your music career that you won’t have the time. Guess we need more servers out there to step up and start a blog to keep us entertained.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:19
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July 28th, 2007 at 12:26
oh, i love st. agustine. almost moved there to open up a B&B but instead got divorced - except for not moving - a very good thing. Do you take a pretty dog? My last restaurant job was a local watering hole w/ great food. My last night over half of my customers left me $20 tips on tabs of anything from $10 to $50. I felt so loved. got plastered after work, but while i used to work at a 24hr diner, when the drunks came in I used to drink my applejuice (aka cuervo - same color!). when you are on their level they are so much easier to handle. love your blog.