What’s That? Excuse Me? I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Hear You.
Firstly, I’d like to say that I am very grateful for all the suggestions my readers have emailed me. Tonight will be a night to remember.
Secondly, because I only have the weekend left, I have found that it is rather easy to be short with people that deserve it. For example, a table with two twenty-something girls at it:
Me: “Hey, my name is Ryan. Can I get you all something to drink?”
Girl 1: “Sure, I’ll have a Diet Coke.”
Me: “And for you, ma’am?”
Girl 2: (On the phone. Oblivious to what’s going on.)
Me: “…”
Girl 1: “I’m sorry about her. Jennifer, what do you want to drink?”
Girl 2: “Oh…umm…I haven’t even looked at the menu yet.” (Back to talking on the phone.)
Me: “I can just bring her a Diet Coke too.”
Girl 1: “Thanks.”
Before I continue this story, what is it with you fuckers (mostly women, but it’s some men too) and talking on the phone when your server comes and greets your table? You’re either ignorant of the fact that he’s trying to do his job and that his job is very hard (especially at 6:30pm on a Friday night) or you just don’t care. Either way, you’re a dumbass, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
Anyway, I come back to the table with two Diet Coke’s in hand.
Girl 2: “Ummm…I didn’t want a Diet Coke. I wanted a Sweet Tea.”
Now, I could have gotten mad. I could’ve gotten royally pissed. I probably should have to teach this girl not to fuck with people that could potentially shit in her appetizer.
But I didn’t.
I simply pulled out my own cell phone, opened it up and feigned a conversation.
Girl 2: “Uh…excuse me?”
Me: “Oh, what? Sorry? Excuse me? I couldn’t hear you. I was on my cell phone.”
June 9th, 2007 at 10:13
I’m gonna have to try that one.
June 9th, 2007 at 11:39
I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to do that. Once I had a woman with her two kids in tow, sit down at a table and yap and yap. I made eye contact with her a few times, so she knew I saw her… and then TWENTY MINUTES after she sat down, she waved me over (still on the phone) and very rudely told me that her kids were HUNGRY.
Lady, your kids are probably bored to tears, too. Get off the goddamn phone and talk to THEM (and me)!
June 9th, 2007 at 12:35
Nice…my store (Braum’s) actually put up a sign reading “We will not take your order if you are on a cell phone”
Cut down alot on that.
June 9th, 2007 at 1:48
wow. you are my hero.
June 9th, 2007 at 10:53
I know what I WISH I could do for you Ryan in your closing days at the resturant. I’d gather up all your blogs over the years/months/whatever and put them in book form for you to go over and remember the “good” times…OR you could do this and sell it to all of us for a small fee plus for an extra little bit of money, autograph it for us as well. You’d be paying off your college loans in no time!
I know you have lots of stories left for after you’re gone from the working force there but it just won’t be the same as knowing just a mere 12 hours ago, some dip got theirs and justly so. NOT that I won’t keep coming here mind you. What would I do with my Saturday nights at work if I didn’t? LOL!!!
June 10th, 2007 at 3:21
I have only once been on a phone while a server tried to talk to me, and that was just bad timing because I was trying to track down a friend who was meant to be coming to dinner but hadn’t turned up yet, even then I told my friend on the phone to shut up for a minute while I gave my order.
Man, I’m awesome compared to the assholes you have to serve. =/
June 10th, 2007 at 3:19
Haha! If I were the lady’s friend, I would’ve laughed at her.
June 10th, 2007 at 9:43
Hahahahahahahahaha….sheer and absolute brilliance Ryan!!!!
June 10th, 2007 at 10:23
This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I’m trying to ring up people’s ugly shit and they’re yapping away while there’s a line of people behind them waiting. I seriously always have to tell them their total at LEAST 3 times. I love my cell phone and would be lost without it, but there’s no way I would ever be on it while someone was trying to do their job and help me make a purchase or take my order. It’s just rude! Dumbasses!
June 15th, 2007 at 5:25
Erm, couldn’t you just give them a bit more of time before taking their orders? Just an idea. That’s how waiters usually do around here.
August 19th, 2007 at 6:23
I own a small cafe, and I have a no-cellphones-at-the-ordering-counter policy. If you want *me* to take care with your order, get OFF the phone and communicate like a normal person. I’m so glad other people have this rule.
December 20th, 2007 at 11:22
OMG! I wish I can do that back to customers who does that to me, provided that they don’t take it up to the manager.