…And I Don’t Serve Ignorant Douchebags That Often.
(I return to a table with their cash change in one of those tip trays.)
Man: “Hey, can we have some to-go cups for our Sweet Tea’s before we go?”
Me: “Sure.”
(I come back with to-go cups and notice there is no money left in the little tip tray.)
Me: “Hey, guys. Was there anything wrong with the food or the service tonight?”
Man: “No. Why?”
Me: “Oh…well…”
Man: “We don’t tip that often.”
Woman: “Yea.”
Me: “What?”
Man: “We don’t really tip all that often.”
Me: “Well, then I don’t give out to-go cups all that often.”
(I take the to-go cups. Bam.)
June 4th, 2007 at 2:57
Ryan. You’re awesome.
June 4th, 2007 at 3:34
Was there a notice sent out to all couples to justify their lack of tipping with lame excuses? I pity you for serving ignorant douchebags.
June 4th, 2007 at 3:39
Damn…you’re awesome.
June 4th, 2007 at 8:39
De-lurking just to give you a big ^5!!! I love that response. You know you have just the best timing!!
I needed this laugh today. Thank you
June 4th, 2007 at 10:29
I can tell SOMEONE is taking full advantage of their being there for their very last week. NOT that I blame you. I’d go out with a bang too. Like my last night at a pizza place I worked at someone threw up in the mens bathroom and I was told to clean it up. I said no. They were wondering why I was so adamant. I told them they knew it was my last day so what did I have to lose? They kinda grumbled and got someone else to do it.
Boo ya!
June 4th, 2007 at 11:41
rock on ryan, rock on.
June 4th, 2007 at 11:44
Well done you. Serves them right. Hmmph.
June 5th, 2007 at 12:05
Uh. if you don’t want to tip, then go to Burger King. Simple ’nuff.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:43
YES! You are my hero.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:03
I love the response, but I have no idea how you get away with stuff like this.
June 5th, 2007 at 5:51
Sometimes it feels SO SWEET to say something back rather than smile and take it. You ROCK, Ryan.
I recall working a 12 top. We’ve all had them - the host thinks he’s funny, brilliant and to entertain his guests he tortures the waitstaff with stupid one-liners that we have to chuckle along with. They ran me ragged.
At the end of the meal the host, in his grand finale, insisted on paying with a Shell Oil credit card. I tried to be jovial, but he went too far with the joke and I was tired. I said, “oh, I get it! In fact, it should’ve been obvious from the faces of the people next to you - the food gave you gas, didn’t it?” The table howled with laughter except for host.
He stiffed me. It was worth it (we weren’t allowed to add gratuity on no matter how large the table).
~Maureen~
June 5th, 2007 at 8:31
“We don’t tip that often”??? WTF? Then DON’T GO OUT TO EAT!!! How f’n rude is that? Honestly, waitresses work for like half of normal minimum wage, the tips are our bread and butter and someone wants to come in and say they don’t tip that often? That’s messed up.
June 5th, 2007 at 9:43
Awesome. Simply awesome.
I once had a party of 18, they were regulars and not known for tipping more than 15%. They requested that my manager remove the 18% automatic gratuity for their party, insisting that they would take care of me. I asked him not to, since if they wanted, they could tip on top of the automatic gratuity. Guess what? 15%. I never waited on them again, even when they requested me, instructing the hostess to tell them my section was for my regulars.
June 5th, 2007 at 12:20
that is just awesome
June 6th, 2007 at 7:16
Bastards. No further text required, otheer than well done you
June 8th, 2007 at 9:33
. . . unless they’ve been pee peed in first . . .
July 28th, 2007 at 12:29
beautiful
March 8th, 2008 at 9:35
i would have given em the cups AFTER I used their straws to put a hole in the bottoms