Unless It’s The Beatles, I Don’t Care.
The other night, I got a group of boys and girls that made it their mission to piss me off as much as possible.
Thinking they were better than everyone else in the restaurant (as teenagers are wont to do) one young man wanted a beer. When I asked him for his ID, he responded with, “Dude, don’t you know me?”
All of his girl friends giggled as if he was some important dude. To me, he was just another metrosexual-looking douche with Fallout Boy-hair, a lip-ring and jeans that looked like my little sister couldn’t even fit into.
Me: “Uh…know you? Do you go to (name of my school)?”
Him: “Naw, man. I’m in Bury The Hatchet. We play around here all the time.”
Me: “A band?”
Him: “Yea. I play drums.”
Me: “Unless you can show me an over-21 ID or you’re John Bonham’s grandson, you’re not getting a beer.”
Him: “John Bonham? Who’s John Bonham?”
Me: “Are you kidding me?”
Girl 1: “Isn’t he the drummer for New Found Glory?”
Girl 2: “No, he’s the drummer for Blink-182.”
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Me: “How about this…three minutes each. Drum-off. You beat me, I’ll buy you a beer every time you come into (name of restaurant). Here’s my address. Oh, and you got your cell phone on you? My number is (my number).”
Him: “How long you been playing?”
Me: “Should it matter? You’re in Bury The Hatchet, right? You’ve gotta be good!”
Him: “I don’t drum for just anyone.”
Me: “You should make it far in the music industry.”
May 25th, 2007 at 3:40
Wow…even I know who John Bonham is, and I’m only a couple years older than those kids. lol.
May 25th, 2007 at 4:04
I’ll be waiting in the wings for the sequel to this story!
May 25th, 2007 at 9:11
so I googled the band ‘bury the hatchet’ after I read your blog, if it is the same band (if you didn’t make the name up yourself that is) the guy’s name is ‘droo’ and he is 17. He’s super cool - he dislikes flirts and school, also ‘un-oraginized’ crime and STD’s.
May 26th, 2007 at 12:53
John Bonham is only the greatest drummer to ever live! Anyone who ever touched a drum or knew a damn thing about music would know that. Holy crap. I think I would have had to slap that douche. Led Zeppelin was the most influencial rock band of all time (in my opinion). All of them, John B., Jimmy (oh, I love you Jimmy, guitar god) and John Paul (have you heard Zooma? put on your seatbelt, the old man still has it!) Well, everyone knows of Robert and his voice. But damn, man, how the hell did you restrain yourself?
May 26th, 2007 at 1:31
I dislike STDs as well.
May 27th, 2007 at 4:27
“I dislike STDs as well”…..who doesn’t
May 27th, 2007 at 9:41
The little douchebag already has the inflated ego. Career prospects look good.
God how I hate kids of this current generation.
May 27th, 2007 at 7:52
Wow. Your blog is neither funny nor interesting. Maybe just a journal is the way to go for you.
May 27th, 2007 at 8:33
ha! i skip straight to the ‘fuck you’
you see why i hate being a teen? because i have to talk to these kind of people in school. group projects and such.
May 27th, 2007 at 9:11
At least it’s somewhat intelligent and doesn’t abuse the use of the Caps Lock.
May 27th, 2007 at 10:51
Somewhat? That’s a stretch. Is this blog for a GED class project?
May 27th, 2007 at 11:46
“Is this blog for a GED class project?”-
Why? Are you planning on copying it and are worried you might get caught and blow your chance at the big interview you have scheduled for the fry cook job at Burger King later this week?
May 28th, 2007 at 9:26
You should know better than anyone you don’t need a GED to get a job at Burger King, Chris. Nice try, though.
May 31st, 2007 at 3:20
Wow, I hate annoying emos who think they’re better than everybody else. And Bury the Hatchet sucks. So does John Locke, I bet you don’t even know who he is. (hint, it’s not the guy from Lost)
June 2nd, 2007 at 4:34
John Locke?
Wasn’t he a philosopher in the 17th or 18th century?
June 2nd, 2007 at 8:03
DING DING DING! Fyndir gets the points! Good job for not being an idiot. Or else Ryan might have to serve you and then write a funny post on his webpage.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:17
[…] But when I rail a family of rednecks, bros who listen to way too much Dave Matthews, or teenagers who wouldn’t know good music if it came up and sang “Golden Slumbers” ri…, it gets quiet. No comments. No discussions. No debate. No […]