You’d Think Growing Up In Russia Would Force Someone To Learn Not To Leave Their Jackets Lying Around.
Last week, I had a Russian family of four that looked like they had just jumped off the last potato wagon coming to America. The father had the thickest Russian accent I had encountered in my time at my Japenese restaurant and the mother had an even thicker aroma of vodka coming from lips. The family huddled around their bowls of fried rice like they were bonfires in downtown Moscow on a winter night.
And if this family is indicative of Russian hospitality it’s no wonder Hitler turned his back on those guys halfway through World War II. This family was beyond rude. “Is dis ze only vod-KA you have?! That is incomprehensible!” They rang up a bill of 65 dollars and tipped me two.
Listen, guys. You went to space first. You developed nuclear weapons and built a civilization on a huge sheet of ice. I know you guys can figure that’s no better than a 3% tip.
As they left, my manager April informed me that one of them had left their jacket. My initial reaction was to throw that thing away in the server’s trash can behind the kitchen curtain. But then I had a better idea.
I went outside, tracked down the mother and father, and said:
“When you left your three percent tip you also left your jacket. Have a great night.”
The mother looked confused. The father looked furious. The kids were eating turnips or whatever it is small Russian children do. I just walked inside.
I thought about saying “Don’t tread on me” but I thought that a bit too much.
April 28th, 2007 at 3:07
argh. effing Russians. I got a crappy tip the other night from a man with a thick accent. He was out with some ghettolicious ho, obviously buttering her up with crab legs and lobster in hopes of getting some booty later. Her shirt was so revealing that I could probably recall the exact color of her nipples; in fact, they were about the same shade as her three-inch talons. They rang up a $72 tab and left me $2. What is WRONG with people? I can barely pay my rent but you can buy the most expensive things on the menu, run me like a slave, and then leave me what amounts to a 2.7% tip. Assholes. I hope she gave him blue balls (but I highly doubt it).
April 28th, 2007 at 6:56
i spent three months in Moscow and to play devils advocate for a sec:
1. they do know their vodka over there…and it’s good…i don’t blame them for wanting the best.
2: EVERYWHERE has coat check. it was the bain of my existance when i was there. it’s strange that they forgot their coat, it might’ve been because they didn’t have a little number tag reminding them that it was not on their person.
3: tipping over there is weird. 3% is indeed low, but it’s less customary…at least that’s what i found.
however, what i CAN say is that russia has two types of people living there. the first kind are gracious, understanding, excited to exchange their culture with you, and is intent on making you feel like you’re part of the family. the Other type are those who, even after you try to speak to them in russian, give you the “you raped my mother and killed my children” look. sounds like you had these people. i’m sorry you had a bad night with them.
April 28th, 2007 at 9:40
awesome! i personally would have added “don’t tread on me,” but you’re right, that may have been pushing it.
April 29th, 2007 at 1:43
“Let me tell you a little bit about what the restaurant industry does to a person: it makes them a racist/bigot/stereotype-ist”
A statement further driven home each time I swing by. I’m kinda disappointed.
April 29th, 2007 at 8:23
Obviously this Winding guy has never worked in a restaurant or served a day in his life.
April 29th, 2007 at 2:08
Hey Winding, are you saying that you’re disappointed in Ryan or that what he’s saying is true?
April 29th, 2007 at 5:16
I suppose you could say a mix of both, Jessica. I mean, we all have our own experiences on which to base our opinions and perspectives, and so truth kinda becomes what you make of it, especially on the internet. I’m not saying whether it’s right or wrong, I’m just expressing my disappointment with the fact that these kinds of topics are what Ryan chooses to present.
It seems like the concept of stupid patrons has a huge potential for entertainment, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve laughed out loud at some of these posts. But at the same time there are blogs left and right which serve to further drive home the boorish arrogance of both servers and patrons, and their feuding sense of entitlement. I think everyone deserves respect, but just because you don’t receive it, doesn’t mean you need to lash out in kind.
And Mark, I’ve worked coffee for some time. It’s certainly not serving, where the interaction may last hours at a stretch, but is balanced out by the sheer number of patrons moving through our doors. There are a lot of assholes out there, and I’m no stranger to the concept of getting stiffed.
April 29th, 2007 at 5:35
These strereotypes exist for a reason, and we servers have every right to feel bitter when our bottom line is effected by classless buffoons. For the most part, I can look at a table and guess what my tip is going to be, and I’m probably 90% correct. I love it when my ethnic stereotyping is proved wrong; nothing makes me happier. Today, for instance, I was tipped well over 20% on a big top I was sure was going to stiff me. I gave them excellent service regardless of my preconceived notion and was rewarded for it in the end. I love Ryan’s blog and I think he’s hilarious. I would be sad if he stopped bitching about the aforementioned classless buffoons. As far as slinging coffee goes, it’s not the same and you know it. Sure, you may get stiffed every now and then, but you’re likely pulling heavy change and even a dollar or more on bar drinks. In exchange, you aren’t expected to wait on people hand and foot. I bet you even get to meet some pretty cool (or at least interesting) people in the meantime. I’ve never been a barista, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing that, at the end of the night, you don’t feel as if your soul has been raped.
April 30th, 2007 at 9:22
I guess I’m not serving the right kind of people, and hopefully it will stay that way…I’d rather not have my soul be raped. lol
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:34
just hilarious…