Why Husbands Cheat On Their Wives.
In our restaurant, we get a lot of “regular couples”; men and women that come in at least once a week, sit at the same table and order relatively the same thing.
We have a “regular couple” that sits at the sushi bar every Friday just about. The man has a ponytail longer than Barbie’s and the wife is always drunk and kissing on her husband like Mr. Ed on Wilbur Post.
Well, only one half of the “regular couple” came in: the husband. He was escorted by a woman that, in her 30’s probably looked mightily hot but in her late 40’s looked like she had a leather wallet for a vagina. Her face was torn up from all the cigarettes she’d smoked and her forehead was in complete juxtaposition to the rest of her wrinkled body from what I’m guessing was three-too-many Botox injections.
They also entered the building and proceeded to kiss each other as sloppily as a horse would kiss another horse.
In short, she was ugly. Sadly she looked better than his wife.
As they sat down, our waitress who had served there the longest, Sami, came up and asked me:
Sami: “Where’s his wife? Who’s that woman?”
Me: “I have no idea. At least she looks better than his wife.”
Sami: “He has new girlfriend. Cheating?”
Me: “I guess. Are they good tippers?”
Sami: “No.”
Me: “Damn.”
So I took their order and as I was serving them, I noticed something:
He was wearing his wedding ring. On the same hand that she was kissing.
You women want to know why men cheat? There’s no deep sociological or psychological meaning. It has nothing to do with upbringing or class or race or economic level. Men cheat for the simple fact that they can. Men cheat because there are desperate enough women with leather-y enough vaginas that ruin it for the rest of you girls. Men cheat because they know they can have it both: a woman at home to always rely on and a woman to have an exciting and nervous fuck with.
So the two left and as they drunkenly stumbled out of the restaurant, I saw the man get a phone call. I sincerely hope it wasn’t his wife at home. With their two kids. Counting the minutes until she’d have him home to provide the steady breathing on her neck so that she could fall asleep as comfortably as she had for however many years they’d been together.
Kind of sickening when I think about it that way.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:25
The Mr. Ed reference- nice touch.
April 24th, 2007 at 3:37
Maybe it was swap night and the wife was getting a little side(backwards, frontwards, upside down, etc.)action as well!
April 24th, 2007 at 10:57
That was much too descriptive. Made me shudder… I think I got an absolutely perfect picture of this woman in my head. Eesh.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:01
Excuse me while I go throw away my leather wallet. After, of course, putting on latex gloves. And crying a little bit.
April 25th, 2007 at 7:10
I wonder if we can get you a legal right to poison people who you catch cheating?
Moral implications? Pah! Screw them, it’ll be fun.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:53
HI,
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On Why Men cheat their Wives?.. Keep us posted on when the same guy comes with his wife…
April 26th, 2007 at 5:47
Is it possible that this tarted-up 30ish broad could’ve been his daughter?
April 26th, 2007 at 8:21
Well, she was kissing his hand, so I doubt it. Unless it’s one of THOSE kinds of families…
April 26th, 2007 at 6:52
[…] XYZ affair I saw this post, and it reminded me of the best quick thinking I ever did. Shortly after I was hired, I was on my […]
April 27th, 2007 at 11:28
well this is taking place in FL it COULD be one of those families.
October 22nd, 2007 at 5:13
Well, that’s one way of looking at it. Maybe he really loves his wife and is still enamored by her after all these years, but, she keeps him on the end of a string and only gives it up when she wants. Maybe he’s tired of not getting it on a regular basis from the woman he’s dedicated his life to and just, finally, is tired of it and found someone who willingly, shows her appreciation.
Why do guys cheat on their wives? Easy, because their wives think they can control their husbands with sex and when the men get tired of it being withheld, well, this is what happens….
After a while, you get tired of buying flowers, taking her out to nice dinners, gala-events and special evenings when she falls asleep in the car on the way home and there you are with another frustrated-sleepless night.
and are expected to cut the lawn the next day..
November 8th, 2007 at 3:09
maybe the guy is just a jerk. complete and total. i agree with the poison suggestion.
February 10th, 2008 at 12:58
Eventhough they fell they can get away with it, it still makes no sense to me.
If they have a wife who works her butt off, watches the kids, tends the house and then some, and hands over their paychecks to them WHY do they still do it? If I had a man like this I would adore him each and everyday.
June 11th, 2008 at 3:35
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