It’s Been All Night And He STILL Hasn’t Called. Typical.
Every now and again, I’m going to bring back an older post that many of you frequenting my site may not have had the opportunity to read. Here is one of them now:
Let me tell you a little bit about what the restaurant industry does to a person: it makes them a racist/bigot/stereotype-ist. I hate to say it, but white people, on average, tip better than black people. Hispanics don’t tip at all. And the closer you get to death, the less you tip.
That’s why when I see a group of four or five old people, I groan. They are horribly bad tippers. Nothing you do changes your destiny. If the guy or gal uses Bengay, they’re tipping 8% or less. Guaranteed.
Of course, I get such a table early on in my shift tonight. Whatever. I’ve got another table of three thirty-year-old douchebags getting drunk on drinks I’d never even heard of so I figure my tips will even out.
The table of old people is surprisingly going smoothly so I’m not even really worried about the shit tip I’m about to receive when I overhear one of the older women saying:
“You know Blanch’s youngest son…John I think it was…well…he just came out of the closet yesterday!”
Then another woman replies, “Oh, goodness…a homosexual? I just spoke with him last week!”
Now, I’m no gay-rights activist, but “I just spoke with him last week”? The guy wasn’t in a plane crash. He just likes holding other dude’s hands. And when he pats a guy on the ass during football, he means it.
Throughout their entire dinner, I couldn’t get those two lines of dialogue out of my head. When the two couples asked for their checks, I decided to do something about it. Just below the total, I wrote a little note to one of the guys saying:
“Hey cutie! Give me a call! ***.***.****”
Don’t believe me?
P.S. Another stereotype I learned tonight: Old people that can’t take a joke tip even less than regular old people.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:55
I would have to say any service industry turns you into the things stated above. I work on a line group and deal with people all over the U.S. and people all over are doing nothing to lessen the sterotype people have of different races, nationalities, and parts of the country they live in.
The town names in the south crack me up the most. Like a buddy had some old guy call from Whites Creek in TN. I had one from (and I’ll try to spell it correctly) Pahashasak, NJ.
Hil-ar-i-ous!