I’m Not A Fucking Dog.
Dear 48 year old balding man,
I’m not a horse, dog, nor your best friend. I told you my name when I walked up to the table and introduced myself very politely. If you whistle at me one more time to get my attention, I’m gonna piss on your leg and dry hump your daughter.
I’d hump your wife too but she looks pretty weathered.
The name’s Ryan. You may also address me as “Sir” or with a concerned look while saying “Excuse me?”.
Sincerely,
Ryan
P.S. Go fuck yourself.
In other news, the CONTEST is starting today. You have one month to put your link on whatever site you have and link back as many times as you can to me. I’ll tally the votes at the end of the 30 days (May 10th) and contact the winner. Periodically, I’ll give you a breakdown of how everyone’s doing.
Visit here for the rules and regulations. (It’s short, trust me).
April 10th, 2007 at 10:44
haha reminds me of the time when i was serving this lady and every time i brought her somthing she asked for she said “GOOD GIRL” fuck that
April 11th, 2007 at 6:23
I used to work at a super small country club.. mainly just a bunch of racist old men who drank too much and gambled away their social security checks.. There was one man imparticular, everyone called him Uncle Ron because he would call everyone son… He would also come in and demand for us to do stuff that 1) didnt need to be done 2) didnt need to be by me, someone more qualified shoudl do it..
He came in one day while I was vacuuming and cleaning up the pro-shop and told me I needed to quit taht and go change the pin placement on one of the holes… perfect example…
Anyways,I got fed up with his “son” crap and finally told him one day that if he called me one son one more fucking time, Id implant every last one of his rotted out teeth in the top of the counter… He tried to say somethign but I quickly remembered an interesting fact about him and told him that it woudl probably just be best if he went back outside, drank another beer that he woudl bum off someone else and finish gambling away his life just as he did with his resturant 20 years before…
His mouth dropped,and from then on, he wouldnt even come in while I was working.. he sat outside and just didnt pay. Fine with me, he was a member of the course not me.. I got my paycheck one way or the other..
April 11th, 2007 at 9:43
My boyfriend used to get that all the time when he worked for Lowe’s — people whistling or snapping their fingers from the other end of the aisle instead of “excuse me” or “can you help me?”.
His response: ignore them the first couple times, and then look at them with a puzzled expression and ask, “Did you lose your dog, sir?” Not smart-ass enough to get him in trouble, but got the point across.
April 12th, 2007 at 2:21
I will argue that sometimes it is nessasary to exibit such behavior. Case in point: I was at a pool hall TRYING to get a table to play on while this witch was on her cell phone gabbing a way. I said excuse me and she nodded and proceeded to blow me off. After another minute I tried again to get a “I’ll be with you”. Another minute later I whistled and she had the gall to angrily hang up her phone (she was talking to her boyfriend) and cussed me out for doing so so I angrily shot back if she was doing her job instead of talking to her boyfriend perhaps this could have been avoided. She went to mouth off some more when I demanded to speak to her manager…LOUDLY. She was all please and thank you’s after that.
Bitch.
July 15th, 2007 at 3:23
[…] Don’t call me “waiter”. Say something like “excuse me” or “sir” or “mister”. Calling me “waiter” is on par with calling you “stuck-up fat bitch”; while […]