How To Be Served: Part I - A Guide To Tipping
This is Part I in a four-part series designed to inform the public on how to be better customers. You can read Part II here, Part III here or Part IV here.
This weekend, I received this comment on my blog. Just scroll down to the very bottom and look for a user named “HazyJay”. The comment reads as follows (I edited the comment for grammatical purposes):
“One of the industry magazines did do a study on tipping. On average, blacks tip 13%. Whites tip 16.5%. While some of it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy (as in black people don’t tip well, so I will not give them good service) the majority of it is that 63% of black people surveyed were not aware of societal tipping rules as compared to only 30% of whites. Furthermore, after 16 yrs in the biz, I have found tipping is more of a class thing rather than a race thing. Poor people do not tip as well as rich/middle class people (although the rich will find more reasons not to tip) for good service and in this country there is a disproportionate percentage of the poor that are black.”
In short, I think it does a good job of explaining and defending why certain classes/races/groups of people tip the way they do. What I found startling is the fact that 63% of randomly-surveyed black people are not aware of societal tipping rules.
For the next four entries, I think I’m going to explain some common rules and etiquettes that those 63% of blacks and 30% of whites may not be privy to. My first entry is about the societal rules governing tipping.
Societal Tipping Rule #1: The standard on most tipping for good (not great) service is between 15% and 18%.
I say this for the simple fact that 15% to 18% usually works itself out to $9-$10 an hour. And I believe that waiters and waitresses deserve a little more than the guy flipping your burgers or deep-frying your chicken nuggets. Why? Because we have the added bonus (see: joy) of serving you, the customer.
Chick-Fil-A, Taco Bell, McDonalds…you don’t have that extra responsibility. If a customer in fast food wants a drink, the customer (usually) gets it themselves. If a customer in fast food wants some silverware (or rather, plasticware) they get it themselves. Waiters and waitresses should make $2-$3 more an hour because employees in other service industries don’t rely on the customer for their wages.
Sure, when I worked at Target or Chick-Fil-A, I cared if the customer was happy or content with their service. But if I had some closing chores that needed to be done, you can bet your sweet ass I wasn’t hurrying over to the Home And Garden section to help an old lady carry a fica tree out to her car. Servers on the other hand suck the dicks of the customers because they make less than a dollar an hour in actual wages (after taxes). They are working their ass off to refill your Sweet Teas and bring you every shrimp sauce that your little heart desires.
An $8 tip on a $50 bill doesn’t seem so unreasonable now, does it? And laying down a $20 on a check over $120 seems pretty fair, huh?
Of course, this percentage will fluctuate for a minority of situations. For instance, you take up a server and his or her table for an hour but only order $9 worth of food and drink. Is it fair that you give him or her a buck on all those coffee and water refills? No. Throw in a couple more dollars and bump the percentage up to 40% or even 50%.
Or what if a larger party comes in and throws down money on some of the more expensive meals? You, as the server, didn’t work any harder than if they’d ordered less expensive meals. But, those 20 people rang up a $1,000 bill pretty fast. I’d be more than happy with a $100 bill (10%) with the credit card at the end of the meal.
Societal Tipping Rule #2: The bar the customer sets for “good service” is way too frickin’ high.
You ring up a two-hundred-dollar check on your server. That’s for your family of five and the five of you all got between 3 and 5 refills on the night. You also asked for dessert and for your server to sing “Happy Birthday” which they did with a smile on their face and a spring in their step. You look around and notice that your server has four other tables that he or she is busting their ass on.
You think to yourself, “The service was good, but a $40 tip seems pretty high for one family. I’ll leave them $20.”
Now ask yourself: Why the fuck did you just think that?
When you look around and see that your server is running around like a chicken with his head cut off and still got you all your refills (most without even asking), sang you a song and brought out your food piping hot, why is your first thought not “That server is exemplary!”?
Because the bar you customers have set is too high. That server came in and did everything you thought he or she would do. Why is it okay for you to pay the restaurant $200 for what you thought they’d do, but not reciprocate it onto the server? Read my previous rule about tipping percentages and figure out something that’s fair for you and them.
Societal Tipping Rule #3: It’s not the quantity of the service but the quality.
You sit at your table and ring up $100 worth of food. Your server brings it out no problem. It’s nice and hot and the food is considerably better than you thought it would be. The check comes and you think that the server did a really good job, but you only give an 8%-10% tip. Why? Because you never asked him to refill your drink.
There are so many factors that go into “good” service that don’t include refilling drinks that I won’t even go into it here. But I can tell you that refilling drinks is near the bottom of the list.
Why do you think that just because you didn’t ask for good service that you didn’t receive it? The food was hot. You were never thirsty. The waiter or waitress was friendly. What’s frickin’ missing? A song and dance?
So because the quantity of your service was less (but the quality was off the chart) you think the server deserves less? If anything, they deserve more. They were able to keep you happy without you even noticing. What if the opposite were true? What if you got way too many refills that you never asked for and the check far too early? Would you be happier then? Of course not. The quality of your service would be less, so then you’d feel justified in a lower tip. But if the quality of service is there and the quantity is seemingly missing, then don’t worry about it. Your server did their job and is entitled to a decent tip.
Tomorrow, specific advice for the parents of youngsters and teenagers.
This is Part I in a four-part series designed to inform the public on how to be better customers. You can read Part II here, Part III here or Part IV here.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:56
Awesome. In all reality, all of this boils down to–respect your wait staff, and reward them for jobs well done. I try to leave at least a little no matter where I go, but if they do an exemplary job, I leave more than I am “entitled” to leave.
March 13th, 2007 at 2:39
I’ve always found the “Blacks don’t know” argument spurious. They do live in the same society and Country as the rest of us. How can they NOT know ? How can you get to be a 50 year old person and not know? Impossible. I suspect there is a Sociological reason…Payback.
March 13th, 2007 at 3:33
T-Bone,
I want to learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe with some it’s payback, but for the majority, I bet it truly is not knowing the societal customs.
March 13th, 2007 at 4:08
I think that age can determine whether or not someone knows how to tip. My father is over 60, not a corporate profession or anything & not a backwoods hick and he had no idea what to do. My brother & I would give him crap about leaving a couple of dollars after all four of us would have dinner. So, now he asks us what to leave.
March 13th, 2007 at 5:15
Ryan, I ALWAYS assume a good tip is going to be received for my good service. It doesn’t matter who the people are. I approach each table with the same professionalism. I was a bit cranky this morning. My last argument doesn’t take in to account that Blacks , generally, don’t tip Black waiters either. So, I’m with you. Educate and then Evaluate. From my inner Jesse Jackson. Ryan, I applaud you for tackling a divisive issue with honesty. P.C. shit gets this country nowhere.
March 13th, 2007 at 5:17
I’ve had many older people just tell me that they will NEVER tip more than $5 no matter what the bill comes to or is the social norm. My Grandmother was that way and treated “Help” like shit. So with many it’s just a matter of being cheap.
March 13th, 2007 at 10:16
Down with Jesse Jackson.
March 13th, 2007 at 10:41
Hannah, What’s up with that? Did you simply want to see you name on the screen or did you actually have something to say?
March 13th, 2007 at 10:44
Hannah, I think that most reasonable people would enjoy reading an intelligent persons opinion…..but you are a Coward.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:59
T-Bone,
Hannah’s been a long-time reader of the site. Since the very beginning, I believe. And she’s probably responsible for a lot of the traffic that came through in the early days. If she says “Down with Jesse Jackson”, then so be it.
March 14th, 2007 at 5:42
Down with Al Sharpton, too.
March 14th, 2007 at 6:29
I have rarely had problems with tipping from blacks. I can’t say the same thing for the Native Americans I wait on. For the most part, they either undertip or run my ass off with ridiculousness and stiff me. Worse than stiffing me, they’ll leave a buck and some coin on the table.
Like T-Bone, I approach every table with the same enthusiasm/attitude. I wait tables because I really do enjoy the work and the pay is decent. It’s harder to do after getting your ass kicked by any minority, but when the next one proves the stereotype wrong in a huge way, it’s all worth it.
Can’t wait to see the rest of this series!
March 14th, 2007 at 11:48
Ahhhhhh amen Allen!!!!!!!! You read my mind!
And T-Bone, I’d like to know how I’m a coward. Because I don’t check to see if someone has responded to my comment every fourteen minutes? I do lead a productive life. I enjoy reading the site once or twice a day, not once or twice an hour.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:35
For the most part I totally agree with you. Customers tend to set the service bar too high.
My one beef is that I’ve worked both as a waitress and in fast food. I received more respect from management, co-workers, and customers at the fast food place. I also made more money there. A couple times people will “tip” fast food. Most of it is people going through drive thru and saying “keep the change” but you get over a 100 people leaving $0.10 behind and that adds up quickly.
March 14th, 2007 at 1:58
Hannah, Sorry aI was a Leetle bit drunk last night! I have no idea why I wrote that. I hate Jesse Jackson AND Al Sharpton too. But to prove that I am not a Racist…I would love to bang Halle Berry. See, I love black people!
March 14th, 2007 at 8:50
And I would love to bang…Taye Diggs.
March 15th, 2007 at 12:45
[…] a four-part series designed to inform the public on how to be better customers. You can read Part I here, Part III here or Part IV […]
March 15th, 2007 at 6:19
[…] IServeIdiots.com writer Ryan posted Part One of a Guide for Costumers. I have been meaning to do something similar, but he’s doing a fine job of it, so I recommend you […]
March 15th, 2007 at 7:12
i am impressed. kudos to you.
March 16th, 2007 at 1:14
[…] a four-part series designed to inform the public on how to be better customers. You can read Part I here, Part II here or Part IV […]
March 16th, 2007 at 1:56
Maybe if restaurants paid a living wage to its employees, tipping wouldn’t be necessary. The money from all that overpriced food has to be going somewhere - apparently not the people doing the work… Of course it’s the customer’s fault for not paying even more money to cover what the waiters should be getting anyway, right?
March 16th, 2007 at 2:04
Yoda YID…………It is customary in the U.S. to tip. 15-20% If they paid servers a living wage your bill would increase by a similar (if not more,ala .. Europe, Australia,England…) percentage.
March 16th, 2007 at 4:58
in re: Rhianane’s comment
I’m native american and it’s true what you say. As much as I can figure is this…
Nobody in my family EVER worked for tips and it was not clear (to us, anyway) that waitstaff were compensated in any way other than normal hourly pay. It’s an education thing. I figured it out as a teenager and told my own mother…who was horrified to realize what she had been doing for so many years. She’s been a fine tipper ever since. Although we are sensitive (perhaps over-sensitive) to the occasional truly bigoted server, busdriver, etc in our backwards rural area. I always linger after old indians in any event since they undertip. I make sure what’s left is adequate…which they may find obnoxious too.
I also owned my own business for several years and was saddened to discover that it was Indians that stole from me and generally lacked social graces. There are sad reasons for all of this. Perhaps there’s a way to unobtrusively educate folks on menus or napkins or something
good day.
March 19th, 2007 at 12:03
[…] a four-part series designed to inform the public on how to be better customers. You can read Part I here, Part II here or Part III […]
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:48
I’m not surprised that over 60% of Blacks are unaware of societal tipping standards. That correlates well to the percentage of African-Americans that are ignorant of societal rules in general.
May 6th, 2007 at 4:39
Of course, if you suck at tipping and own an iPod, start using TipKalc. It is an iPod tool that will help you tip Ryan correctly. Check it out at:
http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/ipod_itunes/tipkalcforipod.html
I use every time I go to the Oregano’s by my house. And that’s my story.
May 12th, 2007 at 7:34
Societal Tipping Rule #1
wow. I’d say 10 to 15%. More like 10% standard, 15% good, 20% great, every once in awhile, more than 20%. I understand the theory, but I don’t agree. I think your beef is rightfully with the person that sets your wages. Just because they pay you below minimum wage is not re3son for the public to subsidize your salary. (of course, this is why I don’t choose to be a waiter).
Societal Tipping Rule #2
I’d agree with this. I used to set the bar pretty high, still do sometimes. Certainly higher than you seem to. You seem to set it at the level of just doing your job. That won’t get much more of a tip out of me, but that’s me.
Again, seems like your anger should be directed at the guy setting your wages, not the customer. If the customer had to tip you the way you thought you deserved, she would. If the customer doesn’t pay the bill, well, as you stated in a different post, they’d get the law called on them. No one is arresting anyone for not tipping to your standards.
Societal Tipping Rule #3
Never thought of this. I’d agree with it though.
June 28th, 2007 at 11:04
Leo–in NYC the standard is 25%. In other big cities, it’s 20%. In smaller communities, standard is 15%. I don’t know anywhere (outside of Europe) where the standard is 10% anymore.
Not getting minimum wage sucks, and some nights we make literally negative money because of the tip/wage system. But most servers wouldn’t have it any other way. The harder we work (generally), the more we get paid.
Great service I tip 30% or more. ATROCIOUS service (not sub-standard, not kinda bad, not slow, not inexperienced) I tip nothing. Everything else is 20%. Just part of going out and eating relatively cheap in America.
August 15th, 2007 at 10:43
I’ve got a situational question regarding tipping. Normally you would have a server assisting you throughout your stay, order taking, delivery of food, refills if necessary, but instead we are cared for by seeming everyone else but our server. I still tip but it seems that it’s going to a mystery MIA server, instead of those who actually took care of us.
August 15th, 2007 at 10:52
You go and tell the manager what happened. It might just be that your server got slammed when you got seated and the other servers got some of their tables out from under them. Or it might be that they share a community tip in which case you can tip any server you like and they’re all getting a piece of the pie. Just talk to the manager and figure something out.
…And no it’s not rude to tip another server.
September 7th, 2007 at 12:30
$100 tip on a $1000 check!?? Are you crazy? Where are you a server? I live in NYC and 20% is standard.
Plus you are tipping out your support staff (bussers, baristas, bartenders, runners) off the total sales and if you are only getting 10% you are losing money and paying out of your pocket (the server).
Stop telling people what is standard to tip if it is not correct. Then they come to my place and I serve them, they thank me profusely for good service when they leave and hand me my 10% like its a gift. Next time they come in the service is terrible (on purpose) all thanks to you.
September 7th, 2007 at 2:31
danielle,
I’m talking about people ordering $1,000 where the norm for a party of 20 would be $300-$400 and I, as the server, am doing no more work than I would for the $300-$400 party as I would for the $1,000 party.
If you could take your head out of your ass long enough to read that I made that 10% example a frickin’ exception for people ordering expensive meals just for the hell of it than maybe you wouldn’t be such a dumb bitch.
Love,
Ryan
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:28
[…] and tends to eat out quite a bit. He stumbled upon some restaurant that had put up my four-part How To Be Served guide behind the bar or in the server’s hallway or something. I was just wondering if whoever […]
October 10th, 2007 at 1:49
[…] March, I wrote a four-part series informing the public how to be better customers and filling them in on societal laws that govern […]
May 16th, 2008 at 11:50
wooow…seriously u think that the servers should make alot more than the Kitchen staff (even though they do no matter how much a person tips them on a bill) the kitchen works just as hard and has to deal with just as much as the server.think about it this way…while a server is busy with 5 tables…we’re busy with 20…and alot of the time at once…it’s just as stressful being in the kitchen as it is being a server…o and kitchen staff also get attitude from guests aswell…i once had someone complain to me that their apple crumble that i had made did not have enough crumble and sent it back so i made another one making sure that there was crumble on it sent it back out and it came back AGAIN because the girl didn’t like the fact that it didn’t look like the picture! helllooo airbrushing!!