We Don’t Rent Out Blankets, Sir. Not Now, Not Ever.
Old Man: “It’s cold in here.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I just turned on the grill. It should heat up in here in no time.”
(Ten minutes later)
Old Man: “I’m still cold.”
Me: (Put hand above grill and feel that it’s hot.) Well, sir. The chef will be out in just a minute. When he starts cooking, the flames will get you nice and…”
Old Man: “Do you have any blankets I could borrow or rent?”
Me: “Uh…no…we don’t.”
(Ten minutes later. The chef has started cooking on the open grill at their table.)
Old Man: “It’s hot in here.”
We’ve got a frickin’ glacier for you to rent. How about that, sir?
Is it just me or are older people like frickin’ cold-blooded reptiles when it comes to restaurants. If it’s two below room temperature, their blood turns ice-cold in a matter of minutes. Two degrees higher? It’s a sauna, right?
I’ve heard that wisdom comes with age, but I’d like to think I, at twenty-one years old have some good ideas. For example:
1. Don’t get a medium pizza, eat it all and wash it down with seven
dark lager beers at 2am.
2. When it’s your 21st birthday, don’t let your tables find out until AFTER your shift. You’ll get supremely drunk.
3. Don’t get drunk at The Olive Garden. Your girlfriend will never let you live it down.
4. If it’s cold outside, bring a jacket. That way, you can PUT IT ON or TAKE IT OFF at your frickin’ leisure.
Love,
Ryan
March 5th, 2007 at 7:51
Wisdom from close to 40:
1. If they look 21+ they’re probably 14. If they look 14 they’re probably 21+.
2. Never call the next day unless you like being tagged as desperate and want to be whipped.
3. Be the designated driver some times. It’s fun to see and record your friends being drunken assholes…and posting it on YouTube.
4. If you live in a cold weather climate, always carry a shovel in your trunk. You’ll thank me later when some idiot forces you off the road during a snow storm.
March 6th, 2007 at 10:53
Sounds like something my parents would say….
March 6th, 2007 at 4:30
I’ll try for something a bit more unconventional next time.
March 7th, 2007 at 9:17
My first job was at a movie theater. Elderly people would always make a point to come out and complain about the temperature. Saturday matinees were a guarentee. And I also have been asked for a blanket. The best was when a man came out saying it was too cold but minutes later a couple came out saying it was too hot. Maybe they are reptiles. I should get my grandma a heat lamp for her birthday next week just to see what she says.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:17
I have it! I have the perfect solution AND money maker for you! Set up a little kiosk of your own in OR outside the resturant and sell electric socks and gloves. Heck! You could even sell those cheapo hand warmers available at any outdoor supply store. You’ll be rich before you know it!