You DON’T Want The Secret Sauce. Ever.
Before I begin this post, I must admit, I liked our “secret sauce” before I started working at our restaurant. I didn’t slather it on every morsel of food I ate, mind you. But, I would always take a portion of it, put it in my fried rice, and eat. Simple as that. It was fairly creamy, and was a good alternative to all the salty soy sauces and bitter ginger sauces we have to offer.
What I witnessed the other night will force me to never, EVER eat our “secret sauce” ever again.
A morbidly obese woman made her way into our restaurant. Now let’s stop right there. When I see a somewhat overweight man or woman, the words “morbidly obese” don’t come to the forefront of my mind. I know we’re an overweight nation and for me to describe someone as “morbidly obese”, you’ve got to have a problem.
So the woman comes in, sits down and orders a couple of rolls of sushi. Nothing out of the ordinary yet, right?
When she gets her sushi, she asks if she can have some of our “secret sauce” (commonly referred to as “shrimp sauce”, “orange sauce”, etc…). I tell her, “Sure,” and proceed to fetch her a saucer to put some of the “secret sauce” in.
Lo and behold, when I return, I am greeted with a furrowed brow and a disappointed look. With a mouthful of sushi, she exclaims that she wants a “bowl of the stuff”.
For those that don’t know, our bowls hold about 24 ounces. I get her a little under half a bowl (10-12 ounces) which should be more than enough for her and her three rolls of sushi. I thought wrong because what I heard next almost made me retch.
Her: “I like to dip my sushi in the sauce and eat the sauce a couple of times before eating the sushi. Can I have a full bowl?”
Jesus H. Christ. She likes to use her pieces of sushi as some sort of “Fun Dip” so that she can literally suck the sauce off the sushi a couple of times before she eats the sushi itself.
I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.
After downing the entire bowl of sauce, she asked “What’s in that special sauce?”
Me: “It’s mostly butter and milk, I believe.”
Her: “I should have known. I absolutely LOVE butter.”
Yes, ma’am. Yes you do.
February 27th, 2007 at 3:29
LOL!!!!!!!!
February 27th, 2007 at 5:38
i think i just got a little sick…
February 27th, 2007 at 9:05
Noted.
February 27th, 2007 at 10:07
Duly noted, Katie, I feel a little ill. *urk*
February 27th, 2007 at 10:11
Also sick here!
It kinda reminds me of a kinda joke:
Two lost men arrive at a hut where it lives a old woman.
She tell them that they can enter, eat and rest if they have sex with her.
Because they are desperate they go along with it.
So the first man goes in, but as he’s going to “dip” he looks at hers….you know, and thinks “no way!”.
Desperate he finds some carrots and start using them, putting one in and throwing it away….until the old lady dies of plesure…. So tired is the man, that he falls asleep.
The next morning the first man asks the other one how was the night.
He replies “Not very well. I spend the entire evening eating carrots with butter”……
Now i’m REALLY sick
February 28th, 2007 at 2:15
Finally! I’ve been waiting for you to post a shrimp sauce story forever. My friends like to pour it over their fried rice like a marinade. They’re super skinny so they can get away with things like that. Now, other than being composed of fat and preservatives theres nothing else gross about it. right?
February 28th, 2007 at 2:45
fucking disgusting. i really feel sick. its like she embraces her obeseness and isnt ashamed of it at all!!! i wonder what the people sitting next to her looked like when they saw her sucking a sushi roll.
February 28th, 2007 at 11:14
Oh. My. God.
February 28th, 2007 at 4:26
fat people make me lose my appetite. and i am just always amazed that they have no qualms in the fact that they are DISGUSTING human beings.
February 28th, 2007 at 7:58
Ouch Katie. Ouch.
February 28th, 2007 at 9:13
*insert puking sounds here*
March 1st, 2007 at 3:18
the ginger sauce is way better than the shrimp sauce anyways…
and this story is gross.
March 1st, 2007 at 11:46
I’ve recently started reading this, someone added it to StumbleUpon.
after reading this, my stomach is queazy. *shivers in disgust*
you dont DO that to sushi! I mean yeah, people might dip it in soy sauce… thats normal… but…. ew…
by the way, this blog is great!
March 2nd, 2007 at 10:48
This story is pretty disgusting and obese people who just keep feeding themselves like cattle is unfortunate and sad. However, I have to say that my Aunt is obese and it would offend me if someone were to call her, or someone like her, a disgusting human being. There are different reasons why people are how big they are and not all obese people should be out in the same category.
On another note…This lady seems to be in a sad sad place…
On another note…I love you ryan…
March 2nd, 2007 at 2:12
What was disgusting was the fact that this woman was SUCKING A FULL BOWL OF THE SHRIMP SAUCE OFF HER SUSHI.
March 3rd, 2007 at 4:31
I bet this woman uses Pam cooking spray as a breath mint.
March 12th, 2007 at 3:38
My mean in a funny way) elderly neighbor works at Walmart as a greeter. This 350 LB woman came in demanding one of those electric scooters. He said..”I’m sorry those have a 650 lb limit, you’re on your own!” She got the manager and he had to go to “sensitivity” training. 99% of obese people are fat because they have lost all self respect and self control.If yo go to Golden Corral you can see them in their natural environment.
March 13th, 2007 at 7:36
Come on, guys. Just because someone is obese doesn’t mean that they’ve totally lost all self control and whatnot. Albeit, a percentage probably have, but some people can’t help it… I know some people who’s entire families are overweight or obese, and it’s just in their genes. One of my best friends is overweight, as is the rest of her family, and they barely eat at all. But still, this nation really needs some help :\
Great blog, by the way! Definately my favorite
March 13th, 2007 at 7:42
Special K, For how many generations have this Family been OBESE. Not Fat, but OBESE as in ONLY in America- style O’ Fuckin’bese? You are right that very very very few people have this OBESITY gene that no other countries peoples seem to have. The world is getting fatter because of the decisions that we all make. People need to start to take personal responsibility for themselves. When I gain five pounds I hit the gym 5 times harder and cut back on the shit I like to eat. My folks are shimmering examples of American slobs. Their choice. Not mine.
March 13th, 2007 at 7:45
When I was in High school… MAYBE 5% of our class was OVERWEIGHT by 10- 20 LBS. Now!!!!!!Evolution doesn’t work that fast amigo/a
March 18th, 2007 at 2:09
I’m not vouching for 99% of the obese people. This country is going down the shitter, I know that. But the people I’m referring to are a family of diabetics with thyroid problems that eat like birds.
You’re absolutely right, today’s people suck at making decisons for their well being :\
March 18th, 2007 at 3:45
Special K, There certainly are a few exceptions and it is too bad that they will inevitably get lumped(no Pun…) in with the rest of these clowns. The other day I went to Golden Corral with my mean old man friend. I swear there were many children (4,5,6..etc years old) that were as fat as their obese parents just shorter. It’s a form of child ABUSE. These kids will always be porkers now. It’s like being a crack baby.They’re doomed by their parents.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:41
[…] thing. It’s hell remembering John Smith for his name but if you ask me how many helpings of shrimp saucethat dude wants, I won’t even blink before I tell you […]
May 1st, 2007 at 2:13
America has more obese people because of the abundance and cultural ubiquity of cheap, fattening food in large quantities. Personal choice sometimes plays a role but it’s not always fair to blame someone for the entirety of their weight problem.
That woman, however, is apparently suicidal.
June 21st, 2007 at 10:35
I just threw up my mouth a little.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:48
in texas, we have a similar phenomenon. it’s called RANCH. and people are worse about it than heroin addicts. it’s awful.