Real Mature, Mr. and Mrs. Douchebag.
So I’m sitting next to Kelsey, one of my co-workers, near the front entrance because it’s so slow. Kelsey gets up and this one dude passes me and farts right as his ass is eye-level with me. He then proceeds to start laughing.
Me: “Well screw you too, sir.”
Him: (Stops laughing)
His lady-friend or wife is giving me the evil eye. I look her straight in the eye and say:
Me: “How old is that guy? Like 40 frickin’ years old? And he’s farting in 21 year old’s face? Real frickin mature, guy. Real frickin’ mature.”
His lady-friend/wife is still giving me the evil eye as our hostess at the podium is cracking up. When they leave she asks me how I knew he did it on purpose.
Me: “Well, for one, he frickin’ laughed. Second, you could tell in the way it came out. That fart came out pretty forcefully COINCIDENTALLY right where my face was. You can tell the fart’s on purpose if it’s THAT frickin’ forceful.”
I’ve been informed I’m going to get made fun of for weeks because of this. Screw that douche. Screw him and his ugly wife.
December 3rd, 2006 at 9:12
Hahahahaha…dude that is a bitch. However any fart story when I’m not in the line of fire is usually pretty funny, just like this one.
December 3rd, 2006 at 10:39
That’s pretty damn funny
February 27th, 2007 at 6:59
Dear God. who fucking does that? was that guy drunk? i’ve got to say, this was one of the few stories on this blog that didn’t make me laugh. most anyone else would have invited that guy outside for an ass kicking (i would have slapped him).
there are so many people in the world that simply need to die.
October 26th, 2007 at 3:12
That guy must have huge balls to piss off an employee BEFORE getting their food. How does he know that you or their server or someone won’t take it upon themselves to extract justice by spitting in their food?
If you’re going to piss off the staff, do it on the way out the door so they can’t retaliate.
June 16th, 2008 at 9:31
теряя антимаулнетизм без антимаулнетизм