This Isn’t Going To Go Over Real Well With The Recent String Of Women Viewing My Site.
NOTE: It has come to my attention that my site was recently linked in an online community entitled “Feminist Rage” and that several members of this community have viewed my site, commented on it and even started some constructive discussions.
My response: Keep it coming. You’re increasing 1) awareness of my website, 2) my site traffic and 3) the number of discussions about my writing. So please, invite all your friends, send out emails, post about my site in online feminist communities…whatever you want. Just don’t peg me as anti-woman. All I did was put the check in front of the dude because it was obvious he was gonna pay for it. That doesn’t make me sexist. It makes me a realist.
I could have posted about the times I’ve put checks in front of the women and they literally scoffed at me asking “Do you really think I’M going to pay?” or the bad tips I’ve received for that little misstep.
But I’m a better person. So, I won’t. Now, on to the story. And yes, this story will seem to be a very big coincidence, but I promise you it’s true:
Last night, a couple came in. The woman seemed to have had one too many drinks before they’d even set foot in the door. When I asked what they wanted for drinks, the woman replied with this:
Woman: “I’d like an unsweet tea.”
Man: “And I’d like a sake.”
Woman: “You want a water too.”
Man: “No, a sake will be…”
Woman: “He’ll want a water too.”
Man: “I guess I want a water too.”
(Uncomfortable silence)
Me: “And you didn’t even know you wanted it.”
I come back with the drinks and take up their sushi order.
Woman: “He’ll want a side of fried rice too.”
Man: “No I don’t.”
Woman: “He’ll have a side of FRIED. RICE.”
And then it happened.
Man: “Would you please stop being a bitch for once and just let me order what I want.”
Wow. Now I don’t advocate talking to women like this but that’s what happens when you mix alcohol and a dysfunctional relationship. You get a guy that has seemingly been walked all over and, with the help of alcohol, musters the courage to fight back. But he does it in the worst way possible: public humiliation and degradation.
P.S. They ordered three more sakes between them and were smiling as they walked out the door. The cure for an alcohol-induced argument? More alcohol.
November 18th, 2006 at 5:09
So I have not once put the check infront of the woman when she is there with another guy be it her brother, husband, boyfriend whatever. Yesterday I think was the first time I have ever put it in front of the woman and that was because her husband was in the washroom. So ladys lay off. Guys pay for the meal unless they are total assholes and thats how it is and will be. And if we do lay it in front of the man so what. It ain’t a big deal.
November 18th, 2006 at 5:30
I don’t think servers are rude when they put the check in front of my boyfriend but it does annoy me when I pull it in front of me, give them the credit card (that has an obvious girl name on it) and they bring it back and lay it in front of him.
Most of the servers around my area have learned to just lay it kinda in the middle. That way no one gets offended
November 18th, 2006 at 5:34
Feminist Rage, eh? Sounds fun.
Yeah, it is just polite to put it in the middle. That’s what servers almost always do around here (in Minnesota), too.
November 18th, 2006 at 8:04
Maybe not the point of the story but, who eats fried rice with sushi? Hick.
November 18th, 2006 at 9:26
So, I decide I’m going to go to this local Japanese place for my birthday…two of my favorite students work there, Ryan and Ashley. First time I’ve been there, but I’m told the sushi is great. Walk up to the host(ess) podium, looking around to see my students dressed in their traditional garb. Guess what? NEITHER is working that night. So, I’m sat down next to a six-large family all drunkenly celebrating one guy’s birthday. Do I want to join in? Hardly. Instead, I just think about what I’d like to do to my student, Ryan, who has the balls not to work on the one day I’m there. And I leave a huge tip for our delightfully cute waitresses and equally fun chef. Next time: Outback. And I’m vegetarian. ;o) - TL
November 18th, 2006 at 10:19
Feminists are constantly out to get people for everything.
Let them basque in their own idiocy and pathetic rituals…it amuses me.
November 18th, 2006 at 10:20
Feminists are constantly out to get people for everything.
Let them basque in their own idiocy and pathetic rituals…it amuses me.
Anyway, that must have been really awkward for you…but sounds like the drunk bitch needed a little straightening out. At least she didn’t freak out…lol
November 19th, 2006 at 12:18
Oh, Ryan, much to your dismay I fear this is where our internet repartee shall meet with an end.
No, I didn’t think you were sexist for putting the bill in front of the man. I, and all the other feminists just had a problem with the comments, and the misrepresentation within your “2nd wave” feminist definition.
I have no problem with, and I don’t think any other feminist woman would, saying there is something wrong with the woman in this story treating her boyfriend like a child. Calling women bitches= problem. Claiming feminism is in anyway related to treating your boyfriend/spouse/whatever like a dog= problem.
Pointing out how rude that was of her= no problem.
I know you’ll miss me, you don’t have to say it, the tears that have no doubt formed in your eyes upon news that I will not be returning to your site are all I need. Maybe, if you pray hard enough, I’ll be back some day, with more fun facts about feminism.
Until then, adieu Ryan.
p.s. Can you take my advice about the reading? Just like 2 whole feminist books. And I say this only because I think you probably are enough of an open-minded guy to want to educate yourself.
p.p.s You have to admit, girls like Laura are just sad. Calling women bitches when you are a woman, using the word “basque” when you mean “bask” and not realizing how completely different those two words’ meanings are (and when you’re talking about the “idiocy” of others, no less), and making some general statement about feminism when you’ve probably never even met an actually feminist and are just going off of what you’ve heard other people say…sad.
p.p.p.s Hmm…I wonder what my “pathetic rituals” as a feminist are. I mean, sure I sacrifice virgins to the sun goddess on a weekly basis, but that has nothing to do with my being a feminist. Who hasn’t done that?!
But that has nothing to do with you dear Ryan, so you can ignore that last part.
November 19th, 2006 at 2:20
^ On behalf of men, women and, in fact, everyone who isn’t condescending, blow it out your arsehole.
Thank you for your time.
p.s. You might also have decided to put all these post script comments in the body of your document. Just a tip - looks like you need all the help you can get.
p.p.s. Wait a moment. You told poor Ryan to read two feminism books? Well, they’d better not be, say, Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin and the S.C.U.M. Manifesto by Valerie Solanas.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Wait a moment. Now that you’re gone, does that mean we can mock you?
________________________
Keep up the good work, Ryan. I personally think that putting it in the centre of the table is the best choice, but I can’t imagine the sort of person who would get up your arse about whom the check is given to. Life’s too short for that.
Worse yet is the person who gets up your arse about not getting up the arse of someone who puts the check on the table in a certain way.
November 19th, 2006 at 2:48
heh, I think the post-scripts were meant to be funny. I dunno it made me laugh. I don’t see what the big deal is.
Ryan’s cool. I like his stories. That Elyse chick seems cool, and if not that then at least intelligent, so can’t we all just get along?
November 19th, 2006 at 5:43
I try to place the bill in the middle of the table, what way I’m not really offending anyone. Although where I work most people want the bill on separate orders so when I as if the bill is together or separate and someone is paying for the whole thing they let me know.
November 19th, 2006 at 7:43
The basque/bask thing was a joke. Also known as a “pun”, or play on words. But you obviously didn’t get that, since you are too focused on trying to put others down…
As if a feminist would ever wear a basque, anyway. They have enough time with bras.
November 19th, 2006 at 7:46
Somehow, out of all the stories, this one has offended the most people. Where were you guys when he was discussing racism? Or is that not as big of an issue with you? Simply not important?
Look, feminism is one thing. Femi-naziism is another. No mildly intelligent feminist is going to be offended by this story, because it is not about a mildly intelligent feminist, it’s about a bitch. If you can truly relate to her, than I recommend rethinking your whole life position before ever talking to anyone ever.
November 19th, 2006 at 8:17
I like flames.
If you’d taken two seconds to think about a different perspective you wouldn’t have written any of this… and I would not be amused. Thank you all for being stupid. Adios.
DM
November 19th, 2006 at 8:44
Laura, that was a really bad pun.
I don’t think anyone really got it. But I guess you were too busy putting other people down to come up with a good pun.
November 19th, 2006 at 10:23
I’m a woman…I wasn’t offended.
I’m also a bitch…I still wasn’t offended.
November 20th, 2006 at 6:26
B abe
I n
T otal
C ontrol of
H erself
…So we can be pessimists or optimists - or me, a realist. Sorry for this random post, but It’s late, I’m bored… and I should be in bed.
This site is awesome - and I never use the word awesome without meaning it… People who are offended should stop reading - it’s someone’s opinions, which help to amuse some of us - and create their own blog with their own thoughts and opinions… so we can be doubly amused.
I’m always thinking one step ahead - like a carpenter who’s building stairs.
November 20th, 2006 at 6:51
LOL
I just got impersonated on iserveidiots.com
i love it, i’m honored. anyway, there was no pun intended. it was a spelling error overlooked…i don’t know who the clever one is who tried to save my ass (lol) and make it look like i was making a joke, but thanks anyway. cute.
as for Hannah’s comment….i’m with you!!
Elyse, you’re a sad soul if you’re really that bothered by my spelling errors. That’s aside from the whole feminist thing. We got ourselves a double-whammie!!
November 20th, 2006 at 10:42
HAHA…I just had to see it for myself. So it took me awhile to read the post that linked to this, but when I got around to it I realized I actually know of Elyse…I’m pretty sure I do, at least, from the community (she’s not the one who linked to this site in the first place btw). If she is the same Elyse I’m thinking of she’s a fucking genius. Maybe you don’t agree with her points, but at the end of the day she’s an Ivy league grad. with two b.a.’s and early acceptance to Harvard grad. (once again, if this is the Elyse I’m thinking of and i’m pretty sure it is) and you all are mainstream-consuming-narrow-minded fuckfaces.
Like she stated clearly she wasn’t standing up for the women who were being rude but just had a problem with the misogynistic things people were saying and the incorrect def. of feminism provided by Ryan, but sure enough, someone’s gotta bring in the word “femminazi”. Cos asking for some understanding is akin to genocide of jews. Everything she said was totally reasonable but you see the word “feminist” and pounce like hungry lions. It’s like you’ve been programmed to say “femminazi!” at the thought of such a crazy thing as equality.
Laura, sweetheart, YOU are the sad soul. People usually do take pleasure in noting how fucking stupid someone is when they’re trying to call other people idiots but can’t even spell right.
November 21st, 2006 at 1:31
My bad. I’m wrong. I mixed some things up about 2nd and 3rd wave feminists.
Regardless, the point I was trying to make was that some (not all) feminists (regardless of “wave”) are many times some women’s greatest enemies. They (the 3rd wave) deem what is “good” for females when the 2nd wave feminists were the ones that were fighting for the choice to decide individually what was best for them.
Some feminists will even go so far as to try and make a woman feel guilty when she desires to be a homemaker because 1st and 2nd wave feminists fought so hard to give women the right to go out, earn a living and be solely independent of men. What if that woman just wants to raise a family? Is that not “good”? I think it is and I think a lot of men and women will agree with me on that one.
(In Mike Myers SNL voice) Discuss.
November 21st, 2006 at 8:29
I’m baaaaack!
I swear on a stack of carpet samples I had pretty much forgotten about this until this afternoon I got an e-mail from Laney (hi!) asking me if I was the Elyse in question.
I can’t believe I was part of a flaming war…that’s so weird! Anyway, sorry if I made it sound like I hated you, Ryan, or was even trying to tell you that you’re personally anti-woman. It’s just that as a “feminist” or whatever you want to call it, I’ve worked with women who have terrible horror stories of abuse and mistreatment because of their gender, and loooong story short just a lot of sexist b.s. that I don’t think most people realize still goes on. I mean, before I ever got involved in feminist activism, I was oblivious to most sexism in our society.
So (I swear I have a point here) it just gets annoying when people tell me, “Oh feminism, you all want women to stop being housewives?” I even had a friend tell me she thought feminists were angry because women have to have babies and men don’t (whaaa? not even a little true). A lot of really important women in my life are or at one point have been housewives or stay at home moms, and I respect and support them, so I got pissed when I read your definition of it (as well as all the “feminist bitches” crap.
I hope you get what I mean, it’s that I care about something that I know could help a lot of women (and even men) get to a better place in our society (and I’m also a feminist in the sense I’m concerned with women in other countries who are blatantly denied their rights, which to see firsthand will change anyone’s mind on feminism). So it really fucking sucks to see it misrepresented when I know it’s positive.
Sorry I told you to shut the fuck up Ryan, it’s your fucking blog, say whatever man, I shouldn’t try to tell you otherwise. Maybe some women that call themselves feminists do disapprove of housewives and mothers, but none I’m friends with (I am friends with feminist housewive mothers though, which are a cool group).
Sorry if it sounded I was talking down to you earlier, I was being sarcastic. I know you won’t cry when I finally do (right after this) leave your site for good. I was kidding! I think I’m maybe like a year older than you at most (22), so I really don’t think I’m in the place to speak down to anyone here.
And Laura, I don’t even hate you for hating me (my internet identity at least) or hating feminists, I understand it’s encouraged by many aspects of our culture. That’s your opinion, go for it. I’ve made misspellings too. We all have. Whatever.
p.s. (omigod! a postscript!) thanks John (who I don’t know) and Laney (who I now know that I knew all along) for saying nice things about me.
My flaming is over. Go ahead and talk shit about me if you want, you know you want to. It will be fun.
Bye!!!!
xoxo,
Elyse
November 21st, 2006 at 8:30
Holy fuck that was long. Aw well :/
November 21st, 2006 at 2:56
How do you feel that women’s brain is size of squirrel. Yes I like.. How much.
November 21st, 2006 at 8:58
Am I in Oz? Because I swear Ryan just introduced me to the Scarecrow. What? No? That was just a strawman? Oh, my mistake. Some feminists may oppose stay-at-home-motherhood? Ooookay, maybe that’s true. But what does that have to do with my buddy Ryan’s repeated characterization of women (not all of them, just most!) as stupid, needlessly indignant, bossy, slutty, and crazy? Gee, I don’t know! It’s almost as if he’s trying to play up his badass/too real for political correctness/hardxcore persona by posting stories that almost exclusively deal with wacky women, henpecked men, annoying kids (that I can get behind), and minorities that tip poorly.
On the subjext of check distribution, it’s upsetting to me that you seem to think there’s nothing wrong with assuming that the couple in front of you is going to conform to your pre-existing pattern of behavior. I don’t care if afterward you say, “See, I was right,” it’s the part before that, the part wher you give the man the check. That’s the annoying part, as a feminist and as the partner who usually pays for the meals in my relationship. I’m tired of him getting the check. You don’t know the couple any more than my waiter or waitress knows Chris and I, so just put it in the middle. Or ask who wants to take it. Sure, you’ll have some douchebags insinuate that they’d never dream of letting a woman pay or a sassy look from a woman who’s too pretty to have to worry about that kind of thing, but I don’t see what’s so hard about equality. People are always trying to tell me what feminism is and how I, a feminist am wrong about it, and one of the things I hear over and over is that women don’t want equality! They want superiority! Special rights! Um…if I did want special rights, would that tip the balance of power in women’s favor? Not unless I had them for thousands of years. The good news is, I don’t want special rights. I just don’t want someone looking at my relationship from the outside assuming that my boyfriend makes more than me, or that I trust him to make our monetary decisions without me, or that I need to be pampered to feel special. And I don’t think he likes it very much when a waiter or waitress assumes he should be able to support the both of us in matters of dining, or that he’s not manly enough to pay or something. Because hey? That’s bullshit.
That’s my two cents. I’ll keep reading and keep gritting my teeth as the cool guy I knew turns into an ego-inflated, stereotype-spewing Internet hero.
November 21st, 2006 at 9:08
Ryan, please see above for aforementioned issue with feminists and lack of humor.
Whitney-don’t start with me I have a BA in Gender Studies. I recommend an associates degree for you in sarcasm detection.
November 21st, 2006 at 9:37
What would I get into a fight with you, random Internet person? All you’ve said is that you’re not impressed with my mad funny-making skills and that’s fine, because you don’t know me. I was just just pointing out that the check assumption (that I later noticed in one of his comments that he no longer makes, or at least acts on) is a bad one, and that him pointing out that some feminsts don’t support SAH moms is a fallacy and unrelated to gendr equality, something akin to me telling a Christian that Christians support clinic bombing. First off, maybe some feminsts don’t support the rights of stay at home moms, but many do, so that doesn’t apply. Second, why are others always defining feminism for me? Third, what the heck does that have to do with the arguement that was going on at the time?
I think one of the major reasons the folks over at feminst_rage have a problem with this blog isn’t the content, but the comments. Ryan’s legitimately hilarious, so people generally agree with him and want to seem likable. So they parrot back his words and thoughts, but a little meaner, as in comments to his posts about women often include the word “bitch” and comments about black people sometimes sound painfully racist to the unprepared ear. He’s become a little Internet celebrity, so he attracts hangers-on. People who feel it’s their job to come in and trash people with opposing viewpoints. Since we’re making examples of people, I’d point to your post for that. I’m not talking to you or about you, and yet you swoop out of nowhere, all qualifications and snarky remarks, to shut down this intruder without once addressing my points. It all seems very…lapdog-ish. Now, I hope you don’t mind me “starting with you,” but I didn’t say anything in this post regarding your subject of expertice/my subject of painful, un-degreed ugnorance, gender studies.
In unrelated news, Ryan, you should email me your address so I can send you Kitchen Confidential, a book I just got. It’s more from a chef’s point of view, but I thought it would be interesting considering your current culinary blogging.
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:24
My GOD.
Why can’t we all just get along?
Ryan serves idiots. It’s the name of the blog.
He’s going to write about idiotic people. Not to say that feminists are idiots, or black people are idiots, or foreigners are idiots. But on principle, it’s a blog about people who act in idiotic ways during the time they spend interacting with Ryan.
Ryan doesn’t seem to be the one creating the controversy, although some of the stereotypes he mentions have indeed seemed offensive if people take them too seriously. Instead, it is the readers making horrifically generalized comments that manage to offend people that is creating this debate.
The whole situation becomes a morass of senseless bickering, eventually developing into an eternal volley of sarcastic, excessively bitter remarks that accomplish nothing.
People participating in any debate already have a solid stance on the issue. Arguing over the internet is not going to change anyone’s mind, it will just stir up more of this incessant blather.
Then again, this site gets more traffic if people argue, so please continue.
November 27th, 2006 at 7:32
i don’t know anything about feminist movements, i’m just amused.
keep it up, you’ll forever be my support for my growing despise of the dumb majority… which has absolutely nothing to do with sex, race, or creed.
January 26th, 2007 at 5:48
LOL whitney owns katie
katie = bitch that got raped
March 1st, 2007 at 7:27
[i]This Isn’t Going To Go Over Real Well With The Recent String Of Women Viewing My Site.[/i]
People, people, people.
The whole point of this website is to make you laugh. If you aren’t laughing, leave. Simple as that.
Ryan isn’t saying that all women are bitches, just the ones he writes about.
As Kai said, “Ryan doesn’t seem to be the one creating the controversy, although some of the stereotypes he mentions have indeed seemed offensive if people take them too seriously. Instead, it is the readers making horrifically generalized comments that manage to offend people that is creating this debate.”
And, besides for the “man” he quoted, he hasn’t [s]said[/s] typed the word bitch so far.
So, feminists, if you want to get mad, get mad at the “man”, not Ryan. You’ll kill the messenger, and no one wants that.
Also, I agree with Keniki, “Most of the servers around my area have learned to just lay it kinda in the middle. That way no one gets offended :P”
Ryan, where did you get the quote at the top of the page?
So far, including me and excluding Ryan, 10 guys have replied versus the 19 girls. Or should I say, women.
By the way, call me whatever you want. You don’t know me. You never will. Simple as that.
And Ryan, keep blogging. You’ve got more people for you than against you.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:50
[…] You stayed at the bar until 45 minutes after closing. A little hint, Mrs. Cat Enthusiast: our sake is really cat urine. We’re living in a third-world country after […]
June 1st, 2008 at 10:04
[…] Wow. Virginia Woolf would be rolling around in her grave. […]
June 7th, 2008 at 2:24
[…] don’t understand women. Hell, I don’t even think women understand why they do half of the stuff they do. But they do it. And there’s no stopping […]
June 11th, 2008 at 12:55
dude, i’m a pretty open guy. i was raised by a single mother with a penchant for picking up the shittiest guys on earth. i’ve watched women struggle from day one. most of the ‘feminists’ i’ve met are pampered suburban white chicks who just finished reading their first sylvia plath. i don’t have a great deal of respect for the ‘feminist’ movement, as it’s been mostly a bunch of crap and whining. the true feminists are women like my mother, a woman who’s raised three strong young men and one even stronger young woman. she worked full time, schooled part time and still managed to force my siblings and i to read camus and dostoevsky. that’s a true feminist.
any woman who gets all pissy and uppity about a man telling a bitch she’s being a bitch has her head up her ass. hopefully, it will smell like the roses she thinks it does…