You set in motion quite the 21st birthday party:

8:59pm: We don’t close for another hour and a half. My manager April sees it start to get slow and gives me my first birthday shot. It’s a double.

9:03pm: Our bartender Mary was in the bathroom and didn’t see April pour my first shot.

9:04pm: I am two shots into my birthday. It is also a double.

9:10pm: It’s still slow and me, April and Mary all down a shot. Again, a double.

9:12pm: It starts to pick up.

9:13pm: It is officially “busy”.

9:27pm: I’m a few minutes into first table since taking three shots in about ten minutes when two things run through my mind. 1) I haven’t eaten a substantial amount since lunch. 2) I just took three double-shots.

9:30pm: I start eating some rice when I’m informed that I have a second table.

9:31pm: Damn.

9:34pm: One of my tables finds out it’s my birthday and buys me a shot.

9:35pm: Double damn.

9:46pm: My co-workers convince me to make a call to Hooters and order 80 dollars worth of wings, shrimp and ranch dipping sauce. They all pitch in, of course.

9:52pm: I go to pick up said Hooters while STILL ON THE CLOCK.

10:01pm: I come back to the restaurant to realize that I still have a table. They’re the ones that got me my birthday shot, so they’re pretty frickin’ drunk.

10:03pm: I give the food from Hooters to April who is coincidentally much hotter than I remember her four double-shots ago.

10:04pm: So is Mary.

10:16pm: I close out my last table pretty buzzed. An empty stomach plus an irregular drinker multiplied by running around and getting dizzy does not make for a good conclusion.

10:31pm: I finish all my closing work and am literally salivating at the thought of my Hooters.

10:32pm: I dig in to my wings with no regard to Kelsey who is splitting some of the wings with me.

10:34pm: I lock eyes with Kelsey and decide to let her have the rest of her wings.

10:35pm: I am handed a fifth drink by Mary. I tear back into the wings.

10:39pm: Everyone is drinking and eating wings at this point. Kelsey is none the wiser.

11:02pm: I am five shots and three White Russians into my birthday. 21st birthdays kick ass.

11:10pm: I drunkenly call A through F on my cell phone. I get a lot of “I can’t understand you”’s. I decide to have no more drinks before I go home.

11:40pm: I’m in another bar near my house with my roommates Mike, Matt and Rhys and their ladyfriends Meredith and Kelly. They are closing TWENTY MINUTES BEFORE MIDNIGHT.

11:55pm: We are in our second bar. It is much nicer and louder. I am handed Long Island Iced Tea after Long Island Iced Tea with way too much Long Island and little to no Iced Tea.

12:01am: I receive a birthday shot from a guy named Ryan. He thinks it’s funny we have the same first name. It’s your money, pal.

1:30am: I am home. Matt drove me. The whereabouts of my car and wallet are relatively unimportant compared to thoughts of my girlfriend coming over with cake.

1:45am: Two of my co-workers, Jesse and Ashley, come over and are completely drunk in honor of me.

1:46am: My boss, Yuki, shows up. I’ve never once showed him where my house was.

1:47am: My girlfriend arrives with cake. Ashley is in the hallway smiling and humming “Happy Birthday”. I’m telling Yuki how much I want to marry my girlfriend because she “bakes like my mother wishes she could”. Yuki agrees that I should, indeed, marry her.

2:30am: I am given a piece of my cake. It tastes like it was baked with “wonderful” and “happiness”.

2:46am: I pass out in my bed mumbling something about Chamomile Tea to my girlfriend.

3:56am: I wake up to someone playing my drums downstairs.

3:57am: I start humming a Red Hot Chili Peppers song and smile.

3:58am: I fall back asleep to people yelling the word “birthday” downstairs intermittently.

P.S. I had a European tip me 15 dollars today on a 35 dollar meal. It is official: Europeans tip better than black people.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 7th, 2006 at 4:14 and is filed under Kids, Management, Guys, Girls, Co-workers, Couples, Moms, Dads. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.