You Can’t Judge A Book By His Cover…Even If He Smells Like Old Hemp.
A couple walked in and sat at my table yesterday. The guy smelled a little and wore a hemp necklace that also reeked. He was, in short, a “hippy”.
Now, I don’t know what any of you all’s thoughts are on hippies, but as a waiter, I’ve gotten stiffed way too many times by those that hug trees to not be a LITTLE stereotypical.
But, I’m a waiter and my wage depends entirely on tips. So I put on my “shit-eating grin” face and went about serving them like any waiter would.
About an hour later the bill came and the guy had been drinking way too much sake and Japanese beer to NOT be a little buzzed. That’s why when he handed me the bill and said “Keep the change,” I got a little pissed.
“Some drunk hippy just frickin’ stiffed me,” I’m thinking as I’m walking to the bar to get whatever change this guy left me as a tip. Much to my surprise, the bill was a little over 51 bucks and the guy left me a hundred dollar bill.
That shut me the hell up pretty quick. Hey, hippies, you’re pretty all right. When I can’t smell the fact you haven’t washed your hair in two weeks, that is.
September 26th, 2006 at 4:17
you never can tell…i figure about 85% of people are predictable based on race, age, gender, and religion (”christians” are the worst, isnt that terrible? I’ve been left a Bible as my “tip” - they even went through the trouble of explaining this to me)
that other 15% though, is a complete mystery.
oh, the joys of serving…!
September 26th, 2006 at 4:49
I used to get jehovas witness pamphlet as tips all the time.
In my experience, Greek’s tip very well.
September 26th, 2006 at 6:16
I’ve gotten the fake $20 before, that’s from some religious sect I’m sure. I ran out to the parking lot to give it to the man, and he smiled and assured me I would be going to heaven. Not after what I just thought about doing to you, I told him, then walked back inside. Never served a hippy that I know of.
September 27th, 2006 at 12:31
Hippies are one thing, but people who just smell… that’s another. I had this one guy come in and you could smell his BO when he walked in the door. So not only do I have to deal with his horrible smell, but I get 10% for a tip. Hippies at least shoot for 12% when I serve them! Smelly people = Generally sucky tippers
September 27th, 2006 at 2:35
man. that’s more than what i make in 12 hours of work =( …i need to find a new restaurant.
September 28th, 2006 at 2:33
So…Im from a town near Aspen, Colorado and well my manager asked me to take a table for someone else, she sold it to me by saying that they were from Aspen and would be great tippers. Well, the night was good, even tho it was my third night as a waitress (ya i still remember the exact day) and they knew it. They seemed to be enjoying their night, and when they handed me the check they also told me to keep the change……but that comment was soon followed by “So we [keep in mind this was a young couple and one of the dude’s friends-early 30s] were wondering…comando or thong?”
The dress code for that job was jean pants, and well it was a little weird to me, but I was expecting a great tip…so i answered indirectly. LOL, then my gay friend (also server) came up and rescued me! …I opened the envelope and there was like an 8% tip on over a 100 dollar bill. OH WAS I PISSED!!!!!
September 28th, 2006 at 5:09
I dont know what hippies you’ve dealt with before, but generally those are the type to tip really well. In my experience anyway.
September 29th, 2006 at 3:09
I live in hippiville (Durango, Colorado)! True hippies are hit or miss, some of them think you should be serving them for the good of the world and some of them really appreciate you. And thier tips reflect it. My best night ever were the old people who had a $55, put $120 in the book. That is like 120% hell yes! Normally old people suck, but every once in a while one comes through and blows your socks off! Thank you good tippers!
September 30th, 2006 at 4:53
amazing.
October 2nd, 2006 at 11:30
I had a family of cunts leave me 5 dollars on a 112 dollar check after I served thier asses for almost 5 hours. On top of it, it was my first day ever serving and I took damn well good care of em too. I hate people.
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:05
[…] To her credit, I had only gotten four hours of sleep the night before and was pretty out of it all night. Whatever. They tipped me pretty well even if they smelled like hemp and old socks. […]
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:07
i don’t know how old this post is but i just started reading your site (through a facebook group we seem to share). anyhow, the other night i served a black couple, so of course i was expecting a shit tip, but much to my suprise they gave me $10 on a $30!
also, the woman paid.
August 16th, 2007 at 12:02
[…] I’d think a woman who went dumpster-diving would tip a lot worse than her. Goes to show you can’t always judge a book by its cover. […]
August 18th, 2007 at 12:16
FRANK,
What?????