Jay, It’s Creepy When You Sexually Harass The Pregnant Chicks At Work.
I have a manager named Jay that comes to the restaurant he owns in our city (he owns two in two different cities) about once a week. And every single time he’s here, he always manages to sexually harass this girl named Liz who’s six months pregnant.
Jay, it’s illegal, not to mention creepy as hell, when you’re flirting with Liz. Especially now that she’s showing. We all know her butt is “huge” (as you describe it) but you don’t have to make a thrusting motion every time she walks by. You also don’t have to slap it (or attempt to). There’s a kid in there. He could get hurt. Or throw up inside of Liz’s huge stomach. Whichever.
Also, pantomiming her swelling breasts is not cool. It’s milk. Get over it.
P.S. If another one of you deaf frickin’ people tips me 4%, I will not be responsible for my actions.
P.S.S. I am not averse to deaf people. Just the ones that tip me 4%.
September 17th, 2006 at 2:09
Dude….ive been reading u for about a month….ur hilarious…and i really think you have something going here…..keep up the good work! id like to hear about bitchy women who have there food taken back
September 17th, 2006 at 3:37
I’m just stymied as to someone could figure out 4%. I tip 20 percent all the time just because I know tipping 10 is lame, plus I can’t do math. I mean, I took Ms Kelly’s class TWICE.
Move the decimal point over once… then multiply by two… damn, let’s just leave a 5.
September 22nd, 2006 at 2:56
this sounds like this dousche i worked with that sang country songs while on the job. we all wanted to stab him in the eye with a fork.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:25
As a server for 10 years, your blog delights me to no end! I worked in a sports bar in Denver where during Happy Hour we would serve 15 cent wings and $2.00 beers. You can imagine what kind of crowd this attracted.
Most of my experiences mirror yours, and I just wanted to add my own nugget of experience of waiting on deaf people.
The place I worked was a packed, high volume type place, Big sections, cheap food and drink, and a fast paced atmosphere. I frequently( just lucky, I guess) waited on one deaf couple and one deaf man. Not only did the deaf couple hit their helper dog everytime she moved, but once during the peak of Happy Hour, I see the deaf man raising his hand. My first instict is to ignore him, I see full drinks and food in front of him and can only freakin imagine what he wants.
I walk up to the table with a “what can i get for you hun?” and he responds with “i have to go to the bathroom.” I stand there stunned for a minute, because i know what’s coming next. “You need to take me” he said. i don’t like people randomly touching me as it is, and i hate this guy. So because, i was raised well, i fucking lead him to the bathroom and stand outside of the guys bathroom and wait. I am a cocktail waitress hanging around outside of the men’s bathroom. Need i say more? I stand there become obsessed with trying to hear him wash his hands before he comes back out and never could discern whether he had or not.
The next time they came in, I paid another server to take his table and it was the best 5 bucks i ever spent.
March 27th, 2007 at 12:02
[…] “And, sir, can I get you something to (catch sight of breast swelling with milk being taken out for newborn infant) uh…drink?” Random Guy: (Stares at breast) Me: […]
March 29th, 2007 at 4:30
Deaf people have a problem with basic math. It’s been proven time and time again. How many deaf9sorry : Thats hearing impaired) accountants do you know?
March 29th, 2007 at 4:32
and how many all hearing drunk waiters who cant write do you know?…he,he,he…
March 29th, 2007 at 4:36
By the way..I’m moving to San Diego in two weeks..I’m sure there will be many good California stories to tell. Alaskans are just nice folks.
March 29th, 2007 at 7:07
Why on earth would a deaf guy require an escort to the mens room? He could see, couldn’t he? Sheesh.
I work at a coffee shop, but have been a server at restaurants in the past. Your blog has me in stitches. I definitely prefer the coffee shop!
May 1st, 2007 at 1:54
Kim, was the guy deaf or blind? (You’d be surprised at how people sometimes forget that there’s a difference…)
T-bone, actually, most Deaf people prefer the term Deaf (that is, people who use American Sign Language as their primary language). Oral deaf people and people with some hearing may prefer “hard-of-hearing”. Hearing-impaired is not the preferred term of the community.
And most Deaf people are bad at math because many of them received subpar educations in poorly run Deaf schools or (worse) mainstreamed classes where they couldn’t understand half of what the teacher said.