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    Would A Manatee Brake 4 Me?

    So as I’m walking out to my car after work, I see a mom getting into her car with her daughter. As they drove away, I saw a bumper sticker on the back of the car that read:

    “I Brake 4 Manatees!”

    Well, what the hell makes YOU so frickin’ special? Ever seen a manatee? Those fuckers are huge! If I saw one pressing the crosswalk button, you can bet your sweet ass I’d be coming to a screeching halt. 

    P.S. Listen, lady. I didn’t mean to spill salad all over your son. You didn’t have to yell OR leave me a douchey tip. But, it’s not my fault he’s skating around on his roller-sneakers in a restaurant.

    3 Responses to “Would A Manatee Brake 4 Me?”

    1. tim Says:

      back in high school me and my friends would literally snatch the kids and steal the little wheeles from underneath them, pretty much hazing which was cause for expulsion but i was vindicated

    2. Anna Says:

      your comment about Manatees sounds like something Mitch Hedberg would have said.

    3. » Blog Archive » Get My Own Napkins? Get Your Own Help Cleaning Up Your Mess, Sir. Says:

      […] counterparts are the women that drive hummers with crappy bumper stickers and take three spots to park because their designer sunglasses and 300 dollar shoes got in the way. […]

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