Contrary To Popular Belief, Windex Does Not Look Or Taste Anything Like Candy
I’m cleaning the lady’s bathroom two nights ago and as I’m Windex-ing the mirrors my manager, April, comes in and tells me the table I have is waiting for their check.
I leave the Windex on the sink and throw the paper towels I was using away. I give the table their check and am back in the bathroom in a matter of minutes. Who is waiting for me when I get back in there? An angry mother holding her child by the arm. Does it ever end with you people?
Angry Mom: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Me: “Sorry…I didn’t know anyone was in…”
Angry Mom: “No. I mean THIS!”
And then she points to the Windex bottle I had left on top of the sink.
Me: “Um. I don’t…uh…huh?”
Angry Mom: “What if my little girl had thought this was candy?”
Side note: The kid looked damn near six. Why are you taking her in to the bathroom with you?
Me: “Um…”
Angry Mom: “What if she had SPRAYED SOME IN HER MOUTH?”
Me: (silent at this point)
Angry Mom: “What if I had to rush her to the hospital to induce vomiting because YOU had CARELESSLY left that Windex on the sink?!”
What if? What if? What if your kid was smart enough not to spray strange liquids in their mouths in restaurant bathrooms? What if I sprayed Windex in your eyes as you cried and begged for mercy? Your daughter will be fine, lady. She’ll grow up, lead a normal life, have self-confidence issues, develop an eating disorder and become an alcoholic in college because it’s easier than developing a personality or getting over her “mommy-issues”.
P.S. The bitch had a dragon tattoo going up the side of her neck.
August 18th, 2006 at 6:23
People are AMAZING.
August 22nd, 2006 at 3:27
Ugggh I became aggravated just reading this.
September 20th, 2006 at 6:15
you are hilarious!
September 20th, 2006 at 6:29
i was a waiter for 3 years, im torn between nodding my head and laughing and strangling my computer
September 22nd, 2006 at 2:47
the dragon tattoo is like a tramp stamp times 100. reguardless the girl will become a stupid whore like her mother after having a drug problem as a teeenager and getting kicked out of school.
October 6th, 2006 at 6:56
i fucking love this site.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:37
Haha, isn’t windex good for all sorts of ailments anyway? Hasn’t she seen My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding? I woulda wanted to spray it in her face!!
February 20th, 2007 at 2:19
[…] Dad: “Oh man, this nigger at work the other day was…oh, gotta call you back, Jim. Susie’s in the room.” Susie: “Daddy, what’s a ni…” Dad: “Whoa whoa whoa there, Susie. I didn’t mean to say ni…uh…that word.” Susie: “But what is one?” Dad: “Well, Susie. It’s an evil demon that lives in the cracks of sidewalks and if you ever…and I mean EVER fucking say that word, it will come out of the ground and rip your frickin’ eyes out. Do I make myself clear?” Susie: (trembling) “Yes, Daddy.” Dad: “Now run along, little Susie and go develop an eating disorder so the kids at school will like you.” […]
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:06
[…] Dad: “Oh man, this nigger at work the other day was…oh, gotta call you back, Jim. Susie’s in the room.” Susie: “Daddy, what’s a ni…” Dad: “Whoa whoa whoa there, Susie. I didn’t mean to say ni…uh…that word.” Susie: “But what is one?” Dad: “Well, Susie. It’s an evil demon that lives in the cracks of sidewalks and if you ever…and I mean EVER fucking say that word, it will come out of the ground and rip your frickin’ eyes out. Do I make myself clear?” Susie: (trembling) “Yes, Daddy.” Dad: “Now run along, little Susie and go develop an eating disorder so the kids at school will like you.” […]
March 8th, 2008 at 9:12
maybe her kid does spray random shit down its throat
but I would be compelled to mention to Dragon bitch that ISNT it her job as a parent to teach her kid NOT do something that STUPID?!?!